Case Study Question: iReply Movement on RA Project, and do you attack anyone who questions you?
04. Jul, 2007 
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I love case studies, and this is my first, simple one to kick off the trend. Simonne posted a very nice post yesterday, announcing an interesting project called “iReply.” I have a 2 page detailed response ready to go up for that post, though I am going to wait a bit before I post it. Why do I want to post a reply to it? I was talking with a friend today, and they asked me “Do you hate anyone who questions you?” I was surprised. I said “What do you mean? Hmmm, no, I don’t think so. What happened?”
My offline friend is now afraid of the iReply movement
That person told me about Simonne’s post where the 3 founding members of iReply, or the 3 key people if I understand it correctly, responded at length to Vivien’s comment, which questioned about the meaning, purpose, and usefulness of the movement. If an outsider, who does not have a blog yet is happy with her own offline life more than most online bloggers are happy with their online life, finds such a manner of responding rude, I wonder whether it is really rude or not? What basically happened was that Vivien asked some things, and in the beginning, the question was answered in some ways very nicely, and then later in turned into something of a detailed aggressive response, sometimes appearing as if Vivien was being made fun of.
For my offline friend, it was confusing as to how a movement, that supposedly promotes replying to comments, ended up being aggressive and rude through comments. I laughed at this and tried to tell my friend that words can appear different than what they are intended to convey. My friend told me that it was no laughing matter [I kept laughing though since we are good friends], and that she prefers no comments over comments that attack you simply because you can question things.
To my friend, it seemed as if it was not appreciated that Vivien had questioned such a thing. Some of the comment responses were nice, while others appeared to my friend as if they were written to crush any kind of questions about the iReply movement. Maybe my friend does not know how the online world works, or maybe she knows too well how things work. My friend also questioned whether it is better never to respond at all than to make someone feel bad for questioning something through a comment. My friend is now hesitant to ever question anything about iReply movement. I think that is the opposite of what Simonne wanted in her beautifully written post, unless I am misunderstanding a lot of things.
Do you respond to all your comments in a specific manner?
Do you respond to all your comments? I do, by the way; I have a perfect bragging record for this for the past 8 years on my personal site, through e-mail and comments, and I am trying to achieve the same on my site. Why? Because I like to build relationships, and relationships are one of the most important things in my life, and I cannot think of anything else, other than life and happiness, that holds more importance for me than a relationship of any kind.
To make this fair and to show that I am not associated with the iReply Movement and thus I am not biased in this post, I would like it disclose that the iReply badge, the one that is recommended by the iReply movement, is something I do not believe in, and I have already told my friends 3 days ago that I will not have that badge on my site. Just because I do not argue about a movement does not mean I am its staunch supporter, or that I believe it is doing a 100% good job. It just simply means I can let people do things they want until I start thinking that something is being manipulated for someone’s personal gain, at the expense of other people’s trust and success and happiness; that’s when it becomes a problem for me.
Do you respond to comments to fulfill an obligation, or to build relationships?
I respond to comments to build relationships, and for no other reason; the relationship can be of any and many kinds, though. Do you respond to every comment with appreciation, even if a comment questions you? Do you think you may be responding to comments that question you, but you may not be respecting someone else and may actually be wanting to portray them as a fool by proving them wrong? Do you think you may have good intentions, but observers may think you don’t because your actions contradict what you preach? Do you think saying “With all due respect”, while going on to insult someone, has any effect? Do you think it is better to say nothing instead of “With all due respect” or “I respect your decision” while also going on the complete offensive? Because in that latter idea, it doesn’t make sense to my friend to say one thing and do the exact opposite. I agree with her on that.
Please let me know what you think. I am still smiling over an offline person participating in this conversation through the phone with me, though it seems the online world does in fact collide with the offline world. My comment to the other post will go online within 24 hours of this post, hopefully. That comment will be my own set of comments and questions, which have come to my mind because of noticing the comment responses that were posted before and after my comments in Simmone’s post.
Last, important question: In your view, is this situation being take out of context in some step somewhere? It could be in the original post, the original comments, the responding comments, my friend, or even this very post and my future comment that I am going to post.
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I joined the iReply movement simply because I recognized this was one area in my blog I felt I was failing in. I appreciate the comments a lot, but with all the other stuff on my plate this was something I was overlooking, sort of like “if I get time, I’ll get to it”. I wasn’t really happy with that, though. If people take the time to comment, I should take the time to reply – that is how I’ve felt about it all along.
It’s not so much for the reader of my blog as it is a commitment on my behalf to actually reply. It’s now on my to do list as one of the first things I try and get done each day.
I think that text is a medium very difficult to interpret the tone of what someone is saying. Remember, the text is what’s on the screen. The tone you read it in is inside of you. That’s what emoticons are for, so you can let people know a bit of insight into your tone.
The way I interpreted it is as follows – and no offence is intended to anyone, this is just how I see what was said.
I’d have to say reading through the comments that the implication it was done to link bait was probably what got people a bit on the defensive side. Especially when Vivien said “To me it looks more like someone just came up with this idea simply to get more inbound links to their blogs.” and then in their next post said “I’m not suggesting that it’s a linkbait tactic,” err, actually you did suggest that in the first quote I posted there.
I mean, that would be like me saying to someone “To me, you seem like an idiot” and then in my next comment to say “I never suggested you were an idiot!”. I think Mike was extremely gracious in his reply and answered the questions, then Vivien said he did not answer the questions and asked if someone was going to answer them. Mike had answered them, clearly and politely. He continued to be polite.
I don’t think “linkbait” is their intention at all. In fact a lot of people will simply put the image on their own space and not link back to them. I have to say I am a bit resentful of the comments suggesting it was to link bait – because that would suggest I fell for the bait. I didn’t. I simply am making a commitment to myself and to my readers that I’m going to try harder when it comes to replying to comments.
I think perhaps the way I saw it might be a different way of looking at it, and you might want to go back and read the comments again, just to see if anything I said fits with what happened.
Snoskred
http://snoskred.blogspot.com/
First of all, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and no one should be afraid or even hesitant to express one, and others shouldn’t attack another person just because of the difference in opinions.
Secondly, the term “linkbait” has a negative feeling to it, while the term “inbound links” has none. Every blogger is trying to build up their number of inbound links, and there’s nothing wrong with it. So when I said that I wasn’t suggesting anything about linkbait strategies, I really meant that.
As a side note – personally, I haven’t seen many images/badges/icons on websites that are not linked to a source explaining the nature of those images.
Thirdly, if the important questions that I asked in my very first comment were answered, I wouldn’t ask to answer them again. To me it felt that the point I was trying to make was getting lost and misunderstood. When I did get the answers I did acknowledge them and thanked the commenters.
As a new blogger, the “iReply” movement intimidates me.
I admire you for keeping up with comments for 8 years. I have only been doing this for two months, have just a bit of traffic, and can’t keep up with it!
It’s not that there are so many commenters at my site. I just don’t have something to say to each person. It feels (to me, as I’m writing the comments) like so much noise.
I try only to write a post if I have something to say. The topics for posts bubble up on their own schedule. The responsibility to reply whenever someone says “nice blog” overwhelms me.
I understand why it’s important. I know how good it feels when a blogger replies to my comments. I realize how little scrutiny I give to a “Thanks for stopping by” reply. Yet, when it’s time for me to do this, I feel fake.
I have been watching Liz at SOB, who replies to every comment with a comment seamlessly and with grace. Each commenter gets a tailor-made love note. When I try to follow her model, everything I think of to say sounds contrived and SPAMmy. Unless I have something to say.
Though it may be a bit off-topic for this post, I’d love to read your strategies and advice to help bloggers reply to all comments in an authentic and natural fashion.
Inspirationbit – I didn’t say people aren’t entitled to opinions. I appreciate and respect that.
In my comment above, I actually gave my opinion. I do not believe you were attacked – if there was any attacking, the first quote I quoted could be seen to be the initial salvo. I believe there were misinterpretations, possibly on both sides.
I apologise if you don’t like what I had to say, but I called it as I saw it. I wasn’t having a go at you, I was pointing out that what happened could be seen in a completely different light to your being attacked by the iReply people. If you say you didn’t mean link bait, I will have to take your word on that, but perhaps you can see my point about how it could be interpreted that way?
I also think your questions were answered prior to your asking them a second time, but let’s not get into nitpicky arguments over silly stuff like that. Also in my opinion, this was probably not the place for the discussion to be had, it would have been more appropriate to ask the questions on one of the blogs actually involved in creating the movement.
The bottom line is, there’s a million “movements” out there. You get to choose if you want to be a part of them, or not, as does every other blogger.
Juggling Frogs – I have found commenting to be like playing the piano. When you start out, it’s not an easy thing. The notes may ring hollow at first. But like anything, the more you practice, the better you become at it. That’s yet another reason why I think iReply is a good idea..
Snoskred
http://snoskred.blogspot.com/
Inspirationbit,
. My response was solely to clarify that we were not forcing people to use the badge. We were just trying to get more people to participate in their own blog discussions. That’s really all we were saying with iReply.
I’m sorry if you felt like you were being attacked. That was never our intention
Attacking anyone is the last thing on our minds. If we gave anyone that impression, then I apologize.
Ok everyone. This is going to be a long reply :p. I love long replies, but I sometimes hate writing them and rereading them as I get confused myself sometimes. First and most importantly, I think if we all start feeling defensive or personal on an extreme level simply because a person questions things and simply because another person answers those questions, we are taking this discussion in the wrong direction. Making it personal won’t solve anything, but will add more arguments, so I am going to try to focus only on the points that I have noticed and the motives related to the question and the group; if we take it personal on such a small situation, imagine how we would react if there really was a real, big fight going on. If you need more clarification, please ask direct questions, so that I can give a direct answer instead of write a comment that is longer than the post itself, heh [I am just glad that I got done writing this comment].
Snoskred, thank you for your detailed comment, I really appreciate it.
I had a hard time going in any direction easily after reading your comment, since you bring up many valid points that give both the question and the answers lots of benefits.
You are absolutely right that the term link bait or a similar meaning may have gotten people to be more on a defensive side. Accusing someone without giving any benefit of the doubt does indeed send a shock in the people who have good intentions with their movement. I personally look at it like this: even if Vivien said “You 3 pioneers of this idea want links back to your site, that is why you are promoting this idea, right? Otherwise, you could let this idea loose completely and not associate yourself with it by a name, like iReply, which keeps reminding people who the owners of this idea are. You are all evil!“, it still means that someone can question things. Does any idea or a question need such a defense that instead of answering questions, it sends a vibe “Understand us/me, or go away“? Sometimes, messages are strong and adding an lol or a smiley face does not hide the real purpose of a message when someone observes attentively. Thus, hypothetically, even if a question is worded too strongly and too negatively, should the answer aim to please people and build relationships, or to squash any opposition?
Mike in the other post said it is important to be interactive with a reader if one wishes to build relationships. Mike himself was very interactive with Vivien-Inspirationbit in that post, so I think that is a very good thing: if someone is not happy with you, or if someone questions you, don’t let them go but do your best to hold on and explain things. If the interactivity that Mike was talking about in the other thread was similar to how Vivien’s question was supposedly handled, however wrong or well the question was and however valid or invalid or rude or nice it may be, then I think the relationships that Mike may be referring to is the kind of relationships most businesses have in mind: customers and sellers relationship, where the seller is always right and the customer can go away if they are not happy with something. If that is the case, I am opposed to such an idea of relationships. In such relationships, you respond simply to acknowledge, and you stop appreciating when someone disagrees with you. I hope that is not what this movement is about. Then again, it’s people like yourself who participate in movements with your own guidelines and mentalities, and run it smoothly and take it in directions that you think are good, and thus your actions, the participant’s, make the movements better. Mike himself was kind enough to address things again and again, not ignoring Vivien, so that is a good quality also that most bloggers today need to have.
Sure, the way the question was asked could be something that maybe contributed to the way the defense was applied, or maybe the way the question was asked and the way the answers defended both went off-track and on the aggressive a lot.
Vivien-inspirationbit, yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I think only real logic and any kind of reasoning should be the basis for any kind of an opinion. Also, the way a question is asked or answered is important. If someone came to my site and said “Hey you, you didn’t do this or that, you copied it from me!” I may would get defensive also, wondering about the allegation, whether or not it was true.
I am guessing many people think that when something is questioned, some kind of a logic behind that questioning is also presented. Why does one ask questions? Is one asking simply to discredit an idea again and again? Is one willing to listen to the answers when they are presented, or is one simply bent on asking questions again and again, without addressing anything that the already-presented answers are presenting? Does one act inconsiderate by not squashing any current loop holes that may be around? Squashing and connecting loop holes and lose ends can help people realize “Wow, this person is really thinking about it and also keeping in mind my answers, and is being considerate of everything I am saying in her questions also.” Is it a bad idea to ever have such groups? Is it a bad idea to have linkbaits and incoming links to a project owners, even if that project is trying to run an idea that has been around for ages? What constitutes a good project and a good approach to this? What can be good alternatives?
My response to any questions, however, should hopefully come with a well written and disciplined reply, one that does not aim to squish the person who is alleging things way too hard and unnecessarily, but to make sure the question-asker understands what I mean to say. My focus would be to build a relationship, even if the question-asked simply wishes to question things for the sake of questioning things, and not because they care. I am guessing we have 2 main discussions going on here: validity of the iReply movement, and the way questions were asked and the way questions were answered. So far, I think, we are all moving from one discussion to another, and thus this is becoming a bit confusing. This post of mine is hopefully aiming at the way things were asked and answered and approached, and not the actual validity of things directly.
I personally will not wear the badge, not at least now. Such a movement has a very simple thing, responding to comments, that in my view when attached to a group and limited by a few people who run it, it tends to lose its meaning. That’s ok; I have my own trademark and signature way of responding to comments that defines me, so I do not need to be part of a group for this; have been doing it for almost a decade online, and all my life offline.
Juddling Frogs, thanks for the comment.
Wow, two months gives you a lot of benefits, since you are already planning the next big steps! Some people I have responded to even after 4 or 5 months and they were surprised “What are you talking about? I don’t remember anything…” I am surprised that you have been doing this for 2 months and already have so much good content that you are interlinking within your own blog. The mere fact that you are thinking about it a lot shows that you care; that’s it, that is all you need to communicate with people online effectively and nicely through comments. All you need to do is care and act in any manner; you don’t need no badges or any role models to follow, since you are already doing it in your own specialized style and you realize the problems you are facing [like your comments sounding spammy to your own self]. They may not be spammy in reality, but you feel you could do better. If I understand what you mean correctly so far, you do not need to do anything else but to respond when you are ready.
Hmmm, well, you have the gift right there for not responding right away; the reason I wait sometimes even weeks before responding is because I want something useful to come up in response to a comment. I think it is a sign of nervousness and immaturity to respond to all criticism right away, even when someone has a chance to wait some time. I do not like commenting right away simply to fulfill an obligation, so it is ok to wait until an idea pops into your head, any kind of an idea, whether its big or small. For example, there are around 50 comments on this very site right now that deserve my response. I am running behind, but I’m on my way; I have written up most of the responses, while still writing others. Once everything is done, I’ll post them and go on to have an even more fun that day! Waiting before posting does build up work, but it is not the number of responses that is important to me [my trademark :p], but the way I respond and how I end up with that commentor. Relationships are the most important things for me, period, when it comes to any comment.
About the “Thanks for stopping by”, many of my comments have “Thanks for the comment”, and it seems verbatim that I keep repeating the same thing over and over again, so I try to make the message itself flow naturally, as if I was talking to the commentor. I may have the same wording near the end or the beginning, but the message will be completely customized. It’s like “Hi” and “Hello”; they keep getting repeated, so we start saying “Hey“, “Yo“, “
“, “Heh” and more to address someone and still be unique.
I have heard a lot about Liz at SOB, and I think I have commented once or twice on her site. People do say that she is nice at responding to comments too, which is nice too. Maybe I can review her practices.
Also, hmmm, my techniques? I am honored, since I didn’t think my techniques would be worth noticing [had to force a post on my site just to show it publicly]. Would you like me to e-mail you some techniques, or post something public about it, like a post on my site outlining some techniques and hints? It can become a very lost comment/post on its own.
Brown Baron, thanks for commenting. I really appreciate you participating in this post, as it helps crush a lot of theories. I have my own set of questions to go live a bit later, though in this thread, I think it is the way both the question was asked, and the question was answered, which resulted in such a view and a process [which hasn't finished yet], that are being addressed.
The way things are presented can add doubts to the legitimacy of both the questions and the answers, since one has to ask and answer in a manner which does not aim to only accuse, but to seek an answer. Sometimes, the way things are worded, it can throw more doubt into the validity of things than what is realistically happening. Do you think the way Vivien’s questions were answered may show someone or send a hint, maybe a wrong hint, that the group is controlled and maintained by the 3 key people, and they wish the group to not be challenged by anyone? Also, in your view, is there any alternate way the original questions by Inspirationbit could have been answered?
I personally like the idea, that is why I posted by earlier comments in that thread explaining the idea to Vivien without questioning anything directly about the group itself, but I also question connecting a simple and elegant idea to a group that is run by someone who can control the movement, and thus I do have questions. I won’t wear the badge, since I have been doing this for a long time [answering each comment] and I thought spreading the idea without getting credit was the way to go. However, associating an idea with yourself helps also, since [as my last post on my personal site shows] people that you know can ask for advice and can copy your techniques, and then show them off as their own. When they show them off as their own, one can think “Darn, I should have let everyone know before, either through words or through example, that I was the one who had been practicing that idea for a much longer time.” A group can help spread an idea further, and faster, I think.
What do you think? Again, my focus in my comment is to cover different aspects of how things were approached and worded, and not about the actual direct validity of the questions and the group itself.
I think I have a virtual headache because of being bored of reading this comment over and over again, so I’m going to go ahead and post this and eat some mango cheesecake. Cheesecake, anyone?
Hey, Bes, can you post a picture of that mango cheesecake, or is it too late?
Hi Bes,
I think that Vivien’s questions were valid and what I would have asked if I were in her place. It seems that most of us had the wrong impression about each other’s replies and that led to the confusion.
I think that my original reply was a bit cold and for that I apologize.
. That’s all we really want. Having or not having the badge is not important for us. We just want to remind everyone that they have great communities on their blogs, and that it would be a great thing if they were part of it instead of just being the author. It sounds cheesy but that’s the only thing we’re really trying to do 
.
The badge was made as a reminder to other bloggers that their readers are their most important asset. If we could somehow convince people to be a little more active with regard to acknowledging their commenters, we’d be ecstatic
Thanks for giving us a chance to clear things. If you haven’t finished all of the cheesecake, can I have some?
We bloggers have lately seen what happens when someone makes accusations – simply see the DoshDosh content stealing issues. There’s a way of saying things without an accusatory tone but that particular statement “To me it looks more like someone just came up with this idea simply to get more inbound links to their blogs.” Give it a try yourself – can you reword that without the accusatory tone?
I think would have been virtually impossible to word that statement in a way where people read it without seeing accusatory fingers pointing. I’ve spent a bit of time turning it over in my head, and still can’t find a way to say the same thing without the tone of accusation. And if me, being one person who thought iReply was a good idea and put the badge on her blog feeling that it was something I could use to better myself as a blogger, felt attacked by the question, I can’t imagine how the three initiators of the movement would have felt.
I’m a firm believer in “it’s all about interpretation”. I put text on a screen, but there are many ways you can read it. I felt Vivien reacted to my polite airing of my opinion defensively, as in she felt I attacked her by what I said, but I’m choosing not to react to that myself, because I certainly did not intend any kind of attack on her or anyone else. If she feels attacked, there’s not much I can do about that – and I would have to say that’s about her and the way she chooses to read and react to what I’ve typed, and not about me or anything I said in my comments here.
If you’re ever unsure about someone’s meaning, it’s better to ask them privately than assume incorrectly. You know the old cliche about “assume”? It makes an ass out of you *and* me.
Snoskred
http://snoskred.blogspot.com/
Simonne, coming up below!
Brown Baron, no need to apologize, since I personally think originally nothing wrong was intentionally intended for on purpose in your comment. I am glad that things are more clearer now, and your comment addresses more questions I had.
Thanks.
Below is some cheesecake for you too.
Snoskred, thanks for explaining more.
Hmmm, I think I don’t know about DoshDosh content stealing issue…going to google it…..Ok, found it: Dosh Dosh being accused and Dosh Dosh’s defense, and that is from one perspective, Dosh Dosh’s. That is very interesting. What do you think of the issue? I have to read about it more, as it’s very interesting: writing about a topic, when someone else has already written about it, can be taken by someone else to be an act of copying. I am wondering if this is along the same lines as my recent post on my site. And also, with more and more comments and hear from Brian’s side of the story also, it seemed as if one really needs to observe the issue to find out if it was Brian, Maki or someone else at fault, or if there is anything to be considered fault at all. Wow, thanks for letting me know about that.
I personally get at least a couple of accusations and loaded questions every few days, so I see your point and understand what you mean by accusatory tone. I personally, however, tend to wait a bit usually and then respond in a manner to make friends. Maybe I am just weird, too hungry right now, or have a habit that’s not in style anymore, or never was.
You are also right about wording words: every word can be taken out of context, if one is willing to do so. Good observation yet again; reaction to another post taken a bit out of context again, and the context being to focus only on the issue.
Wow, we are indeed going in circles! I think Vivien also felt the same, when her reactions got reactions with such force by the 3 key people.
Good point about assumption; I wrote about it earlier this year, that it’s better to question than assume. So in your view, questioning something while assuming or accusing or hinting at something negative is not good, and instead one should simply question things without assuming anything of any sort other than the positive?
Thanks again Snoskred.
————-
Here we go all:
That’s funny. I should make a badge that says, “I Post, U Comment”
Bes,
You are a pig. You’ve eaten that all by yourself? And I don’t get a free slice? Punk.
* edited – original comment was a reply to Snoskred, but I’m not sure why*
Ok, in order to clear everyone’s confusion about what I have said and meant in my very first comment to the iReply post, I better try to explain myself again and the points I was trying to make in all my comments.
I was not accusing anyone, I was merely questioning the usefulness of the iReply badge (not so much the movement, but badge itself) on blogs. Some things about it didn’t make sense to me, and I always question things that don’t make sense to me, because I want to get a clear and complete picture of them in my head before I undertake any actions.
I’m a very direct person, and when I ask direct questions, I expect to get direct answers, not the abstract ones. So the only intention of my very first comment to iReply post was to get some clarifications and clear answers to my questions.
Eventually I’ve got both and I really appreciate everyone’s input. There is no need for anyone to apologize for anything. I’d hate to see this discussion growing out of proportions in the wrong direction.
So how about a virtual handshake and peace sign? Bes, thanks for the delicious cheesecake (picture)
V.
Bes, thank you for my slice of cake. Are you going to bring it over here, or am I asking too much already?