I am a firm believer that a lot of reader appreciation techniques can translate directly from the offline world.

As food for thought, I thought I’d present some offline examples of when I was trying to use appreciation techniques and my intentions were questioned. As a result, I never visited the places again.

Getting a Meal

When I was seventeen years old, I worked at a small grocery store as a bagger in a rural town. One lady always bought a large load of groceries and most of the other carry-out people were reluctant to bag her groceries. I took on the challenge and developed a casual talking relationship with the lady every time she came in.

One day she expressed that she had gotten a new job at a local restaurant. I told her I’d stop in and order something and say hello, which she seemed fine with at the time.

When I showed up, she had a concerned look on her face and sat down briefly at my booth.

“My husband is concerned why a seventeen year old kid is expressing interest in his wife. I just wanted to know what your intentions are for being here.”

I probably had a puzzled look on my face and I explained that I was just here to eat and support her at her new job since she always was so nice to me at the grocery store. I wasn’t pursuing a relationship with this obviously married and devoted woman.

I never went to the restaurant or spoke to the lady again.

Getting a Haircut

Here in my town I frequented a haircut place quite often because the lady who cut my hair was always really nice. For some reason I couldn’t write in my tip when I charged the purchase, so I always left her without a tip. And I felt bad about it because I consider myself a good tipper.

So one day she tells me a story about how she wrecked her car and how her husband had also been in a minor accident. I felt bad about it and since I had never given her a tip for the three or so haircuts she had given me, I walked to a nearby Chili’s and bought her a gift card. I brought it back and she was very thankful.

When I returned for my next haircut, I could tell she was a little uneasy. I asked her a few questions about her husband and if she had gotten a new vehicle since the last time I talked to her she was just in an accident.

Then she asked me, “So, how much out of your way is this place?”

I didn’t understand the question. Sure, the haircut place was a little out of my way, but it depended on which way I was going.

So I responded, “Well, not too much out of the way since I live nowhere close to a haircut place.”

“Oh.” She replied, “Because the gift you gave me last time was a bit much.”

I tried to cut the awkwardness, “Well, I never carry cash on me and I took the gift card as making up for lost tips. I apologize.”

That was the last haircut I got at the haircut place.

Conclusion

In both situations, my intentions were good. I was trying to show appreciation and customer service, but my intentions were unfairly questioned. As a result, I never visited the establishments again.

You’ll never know the “true” intentions of appreciation, so in some situations, it is better to take the appreciation rather than question why you are the recipient.

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