It is a common saying that there are two certainties in this world: death, and taxes. I would like to add my own two cents into this saying and say that there are two things I consider truths in this world: you can’t change people, and people will take advice as freely as they give it.

You Can’t Change People

I have yet to meet someone that likes being changed.

Change (when done in a bad way) comes with a lot of negative emotions. A person can feel bullied, manipulated, and perhaps coerced.

While I was seeing a Christian counselor, I went through a book called, “The DNA of Relationships.” One of the things the book talked about was the circle of change.

Let’s start with an example with two people named John and Jane. Jane tries to force John into changing. John doesn’t like being changed by others, so he tries to stop Jane. By doing this, John is inadvertently trying to change Jane. And then Jane tries to change John, and so forth. It’s a downward spiral based on the fear of losing control.

It is possible to manipulate someone’s behavior, but is that really change?

One of the bigger arguments I had in my life was when I looked my other half in the eye and said, “Look, I know you want me to be a different person. But I’m not that person. I’m me. You can’t change who I am.” The words stung, but I was being honest. I wasn’t going to lie to myself anymore and pretend I was someone else.

People Take Advice as Freely as They Give It

There is no shortage of places to get advice. Just do a search on Google for the keyword advice.

In the U.S. there is an entire industry based on giving advice, such as counselors and therapists.

In the blogosphere there are many blogs just based on blogging advice alone (such as this one).

But advice is free. Or, it usually is.

If you break advice down to its fundamental form, it is merely a recommendation. And it is up to the person on the receiving end to accept or reject that recommendation.

There have been several times in my life where someone would come up to me in disgust and say, “This person wouldn’t be in xyz situation if they would’ve only listened to my advice.”

I usually respond, “He did listen. He just decided not to take it.”

And I usually receive the response, “Then why did he ask for advice if he wasn’t going to take it?”

Which I conclude, “You gave the advice. The person is under no obligation to take it, nor are you under any obligation to give it.”

Giving advice is giving a recommendation or opinion. Plain and simple. And people can take it (or reject it) as easily as people give it.

Conclusion

Within this post I presented two truths I deeply believe in:

• You can’t change people.
• People take advice as freely as they give it.

So what do these truths have to do with reader appreciation? Everything. Once one realizes these two truths, the person is free. I can spout all day about how bloggers should do this, or do that, but I can’t force them to remove ads or open comments. And the readers of this blog are free to take or reject any advice we dish out. Our advice is free. And so is your decision to take it.

Please weigh in on what you think of these truths. Are they truths for you? Would you add in a few more?

Thank you for reading.

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