What is Reader Appreciation? Being considerate
16. Aug, 2007 
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With a growing number of people claiming that they thank and appreciate their readers simply to jump on the reader appreciation bandwagon [you know who you are] and with so many people not claiming reader appreciation but actually practicing it [you probably and hopefully know who you are], I would like to start defining reader appreciation a bit more.
Reader Appreciation can be a lot of things. Being considerate to others defines reader appreciation in many ways.
Being considerate to others requires a lot of analysis
In its simplest, being considerate of others involves both knowing what others want and know what others are, in addition to knowing what you want and what you are. Being inconsiderate to your readers or anyone else is usually understood by many to be something one does to not care about others when involved in something. Being inconsiderate to others also refers to the fact that one assumes or stereotypes something about someone else, without actually finding out more about that someone else.
Following is a list of 10 random ways you can be considerate to yourself and your readers when it comes to reader appreciation.
10 random ways to be considerate of your readers and yourself
- Listen to what readers say
Readers, like many other types of people, leave messages for a variety of reasons. Listen to what the readers are saying by actually understanding and sending feedback to the readers. As far as I notice, this is so far unheard and unseen on the internet, or at least on a big scale.
- Avoid manipulating readers
One of the best ways to appreciate someone is to not manipulate them in order to gain some benefit like money or something similar. Avoid manipulating your readers, by making them do something through a false promise or a fake promise, or by not telling them the whole story. Manipulating readers in my view results in severe disservice to readers and others if the readers end up paying the price, either through time or something else, while the blogger or someone else who is doing the manipulation ends up getting a lot of benefit because of the existence of the manipulation.
This includes making readers go through unnecessary headaches in order for you to gain a lot, while readers do not get as much.
- Do not differentiate between agreeing and disagreeing readers.
Some people love differentiating between readers who support them and readers who can pinpoint bad things. Avoid being like such immature bloggers who do not know how to handle criticism, or else you will look like a stupid blogger who runs and hides instead of facing issues. If a reader disagrees with you, try to come up with some reason or logic to make sure the reader and you can still co-exist and can be considerate of each other. Having more disagreeing friends than friends who agree with you can be better.
In my view, saying “I respect your decision” while acting moody, childish, weird, snobbish, or not getting along like before when there is any disagreement, is the same as lying. Avoid that; either express something completely, or avoid expressing it at all. Playing games by confusing normal words only hides you from certain opposition for a while, while actually ruining good relationships. Be considerate of any disagreements, since doing that will help you live along with anyone who disagrees with you easily and in the same manner as living along with someone who does not disagree with you.
- Be aware of why you appreciate.
It is extremely important to realize why you want to appreciate others. Saying you appreciate your readers may be enough to deceive your readers, who may be giving you benefit of the doubt because of their own values or because of you being a famous blogger or something else, but in the long run, more and more readers will realize how you are manipulating them. Find out why you want to appreciate your readers, and if you are comfortable with the answer, be sure to be open about that answer. Even if it is a selfish thing, be open about it. Better to know why you appreciate others than to fool others through fake illusion of some sort of an appreciation.
Ronald has a very good article on why automating appreciation simply to fulfill the obligation of appreciating others can sometimes result in fake appreciation. This can be avoided if one is aware of why they want to appreciate and if they are open about it.
- Realize and acknowledge at least a little bit of how your interest in money affects your online activities and your appreciation of others
For me, you talking about focusing only on appreciating your readers while your actual actions show that you focus more on money than anything else shows me that you are manipulating your readers. Browse through the archives of this site to find out more about a few bloggers who manipulate their readers in different ways in order to earn money, like different John Chow reviews on this site, and how such bloggers cannot handle any criticism since they cannot dispute the presented facts, logic and the truth that shows the real motives behind their actions. Also be sure to browse through the archives of this site to find out different examples of good bloggers who do not manipulate their readers, since they know why they want to appreciate and they also know and they also do not hide whether or not they like making money or earning some benefit along the way.
If you cannot realize or cannot admit the amount of interest you have in money when it comes to your concept of appreciation, you will only be lying to others if you keep claiming you do it out of sincerity. Sure, you can lie to your own families and children but we are, fortunately and hopefully, not related to you, so you can slowly get away with your manipulative tactics for a while by criticizing your readers who can use common sense to pinpoint your motives, but sooner or later as more and more people realize your tactics, someone [like me or someone else pointing out a few bloggers on this site] is bound to pinpoint you out. Which is better? Being ashamed in front of millions of people and businesses, including your future children and their children who will read about you on some site in the future and when they weigh the facts they will know your true manipulative and lying nature that revolves around money, or you actually addressing the issue?
- If you copy other people’s appreciation techniques, acknowledge such a fact.
Many people copy others secretly, and then they pass of the things they copy as their own creations. I listed out on my other site the 5 ways, among many other things, some people have and are trying to copy me. Some people say imitation is the best form of flattery. I think such a saying is valid in some cases, and it is not valid in some other cases. How about I copy your entire blog and pass it off as my own. Is that a good thing for you? If even a single person disagrees to such a copying, that means the saying “imitation is the best form of flattery” does not apply to each and every situation. I disagree with such a saying in many cases, and thus such a stereotypical saying is not valid at all in many situations.
If you want to copy someone, acknowledge it. If you do not acknowledge it, at least do not pass off such a thing as being your own.
- Realize what you want from readers in appreciation
Many bad bloggers who manipulate readers for money do so because they focus too much on themselves. Other bloggers ruin their blogs or their interaction with others because of caring too much about readers, or for not caring about themselves enough. You have to realize what you want from readers, and not start on a path only thinking about others without thinking why you are thinking only about others. Why? Because the mere fact that you love appreciating others and that you expect or do not expect something from readers should be realized by you, since it is something you want. Otherwise, when hardships head your way, it may be harder to answer the question “Why am I appreciating others?” Readers do not know what you want unless you tell them.
When it comes to a business point of view, I can try to balance things out perfectly; it is one of my specialties. When it comes to my personal life, I tend to favor the entire concept of appreciation more, and I am famous in the offline world [maybe unfortunately?] for giving more and almost asking nothing back from majority of the people. Such a thing has both good points and bad points. One good thing about everything related to realization, including a good thing about the good points and the bad points, is that I can realize what I want, and I can realize how important my want and my need is, and how important appreciation and being considerate to others is, and how important both are relatively and absolutely.
- Be considerate of other people even when they are completely wrong
Imaging you talk about a topic in any form, and someone comes and presents a conflicting view. Now imagine they do not provide any reason, logic, facts, and thus it is hard to disagree with them on a level you want to. What do you do in such a case? You try to find some grounds on which to both leave the topic behind you and still maintain the reader relationship and appreciation, or to at least co-exist normally with the differences still alive between you and the other person. By co-existing, I am implying that not only you know the other person exists, you interact and appreciate them, and vice versa, the same way you would had that person been completely right or if that person agreed with you completely, similar to point # 3 above.
- Realize what readers want from you in appreciation
Another way to appreciate readers is to realize what they want. Do they want more posts about something? Do they want you to treat them differently? Do they want more honesty [like "tell me how you make money through my presence!!"]? Do they want less honesty [like "I don't want to know about how much you love chocolate, ok Bes??!!"]?
When you realize what readers want, you are not obligated to fulfill that want immediately. Keep in mind what you want, and keep in mind what readers want, and discuss it with the readers openly, and come up with a solution that you can both agree on. Some choices can be made by you, and some choices can be made by readers, and some choices can be made by you and others.
- Realize what you and others want to be
One of the most important analyzations that anyone can do, and yet I cannot find more than 7-10 blogs online that do it, is to analyze and realize what others are and what they want to be, and what you are and what you want to. Realizing your actual character and personality can help you realize how to act around others. Similarly, realizing other people’s actual character or personality or a bit of each or a bit of both or both completely, can help you be more accommodating of other people’s nature of doing things. They may want the same thing, but they may want it done differently. This is different than point #9 above, as point #9 focuses on the actual specific things readers want through appreciation. Simonne has written an excellent article on this titled “Does your blog offer meet your reader’s needs?“, which focuses on this in more detail.
You may like to do business with someone using some procedures. It can be very good to find out how the other person wants to do the business. You can talk about or address someone using your own method, and the other person may want the same thing done in their own method. Find out what each person is in every situation, and you can have better chances of actually getting along on good terms with more people.
Those are 10 of the many random things that you can keep in mind, and in turn, those things in your own character and personality, or at least on your interaction with readers in any manner, can help you be more considerate. Reader Appreciation can be divided, if needed, into a lot of things, and being considerate is one of them.
Can you think of more things, or do you have any questions or comments about anything above? Please let me know by leaving a comment below or by contacting us.
Thank you for reading. 
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Bes,
This is a very in-depth and detailed article and I don’t really know where to begin in commenting. However, I’ll tackle #6 in regards to copying someone else’s method of appreciation.
There are a couple of chain restaurants here that I go to every now and then. One of them is Firehouse and the other one Moe’s. When you walk in to Firehouse, the employees scream, “Welcome to Firehouse.” The same thing happens when I walk into Moe’s. “Welcome to Moe’s!!!”
They both use the same techniques, but I doubt it is hardly trademarked. As a customer, I know such techniques are foolish and don’t provide “real” customer service. If an establishment really wanted me to feel welcome, the place wouldn’t have to go to such extremes to put it in my face that I am indeed welcome. What I’m getting at here is that readers (like customers) aren’t stupid and can tell when blogs are copying others’ appreciation techniques.
As far as someone not giving credit… Reader appreciation, like customer service, is one of those common sense things that everybody should do, but not everyone does it. And some are better at it than others. If people want to “borrow” techniques, I’m all for it. The more appreciation, the better, whether someone is copying the technique or not.
Hi Ronald,
Thanks for the response. Regarding #6, for me because of my experience with both personal things and business situation, copying someone else’s work and adapting it shows that the reason one started something was not to arrive at a fix for something but to mimic someone else’s success. If the very reason one does something is spoiled, then later many other things and reasons can be spoiled too, like doing things just to show appreciation instead of actually appreciating.
Welcome to Moe’s is a very good example of this. For me, I would analyze more and see which one is doing it sincerely, and which one is simply doing it because it attracts more customers. For example, I went to Outback Steakhouse recently, a little bit before closing time and stayed around outside with a few people after the restaurant closed. The same peolpe that were greeting every customer acted like morons, including the manager, once they were leaving. That is a very, very important thing.
Majority of the readers cannot tell when blogs are copying their appreciation. I also do not know about many blogs copying other tactics, and sometimes I am sure I never find out. Everyone is stupid in many cases, and everyone is smart in other cases. Whether or not a reader finds out about copying tactics because of their own stupidity or their own preference of what to focus on and what to ignore is not may main focus, though I would love to make it my main focus. Whether or not readers or customers are stupid is not relevant here. And by the way, just like many businesses being stupid, and many bloggers being stupid too, many customers and readers are stupid. It runs in the entire human genes: some good at something, some not good at something, and some ending up, whether knowingly or unknowingly, at being stupid at something.
So I am of the opinion that customers are not always right, everyone is equal and thus can be both good or bad, and thus just because a person is a reader or a customer does not mean I am going to treat them like god. Everyone has to prove their worth through actual thinking and action.
Take John Chow. Many of his readers think he is doing 100% good. Are those readers stupid? Ignoring things on purpose? Or focusing on other things?
I am completely against fake appreciation, and I am against copying other things without acknowledging including appreciation, and passing it off as one’s own. If someone says they appreciate my comment, for example, I want to know if they say it to everyone or if they really mean it and also say it to everyone, among a few other things. Sincere, and beneficial to everyone, reason and background is the key to changing a mentality. One can use other forms of appreciation, but should not pass them off as their own or claim that they have valued something like appreciation, when in actual practice they never have prior to realizing that other blogs doing it shows some customer [they treat readers like customers, I don't, I treat them like humans] response.