While shopping at my local grocery store, I noticed that my store now offers financial services. Within the advertisement is a quotation: “What a great idea!”

When I first saw the advertisement, I just mumbled to myself some expletives and continued my shopping. The quotation reminded me of Sony when they made up a quote from a fake critic. The key word here is fabricated quotes.

Another example of this is at a chain restaurant. The restaurant is hiring, and on the advertisement is the quote, “A great place to work.” I was half expecting an asterisk with some small print adding, “…for some people.”

I suppose the addition of these quotations is just a decent attempt at self-marketing. Adding in these quotes perhaps is trying to reproduce the word-of-mouth effect that works so well. The problem is, I don’t know the people behind the quotes, so I could care less who said what.

The beauty about a blog is that there is usually a decent person behind it. And from this blog, we can get a feel for who you are, what you like, and whether we can trust you.

It’s one thing to have a nameless recommendation, it’s another to have a recommendation from a trusted friend.

I’ll conclude with a quote from Liz Strauss’s transcript from WordCamp:

So if you go to a website, or you’ve got a product, bring your experience to it.

I want to know how you felt using it. I may not feel the same way, but if I’ve been reading you, I can extrapolate from your experience whether I like it or not.

If you’re a friend of mine, I can extrapolate from your taste in music whether I like it or not.

So blog your experience. It makes you more real.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• A Case for Disabling Comments - Avinash 2.0
• From the Perspective of a Feed Reader
• WordCamp Dallas Photos
• Redirect Your Readers Nicely Using WP Redirection
• Late Follow-Ups Are Better Than No Follow-Ups

Ok, not really. But how many times have you told yourself that when it comes to blogging?

If you’ve been in the blogging game long enough, you probably know quite a few bloggers who have quit.

Some quit because:

• Subscribers weren’t growing
• Traffic wasn’t increasing
• No money was coming in
• Their page rank took a hit or was too low
• Their site was blacklisted by Google
• They received too many negative comments
• They didn’t receive enough comments
• They were burnt out
• They were too busy (school, work)
• They had personal obligations (child, spouse, parents)
• And more…

Within the past two weeks I’ve read a few posts that I consider rather thought-provoking. One was about a blogger’s responsibility to the readers, and the other was about blogging pains. Both expressed confusion for what the future held for their blog and their readership. And believe me, I share the same thoughts constantly.

And confusion over the future, or lack of purpose, is intimidating. Even Lorelle VanFossen says it’s a good reason to stop blogging:

Stop blogging if you don’t have a purpose: Honestly, you don’t have to blog if you don’t want to, and if you don’t know what to blog about, don’t. If your blog has no purpose, stop blogging.

You can probably relate to Lorelle’s quote. It’s hard to find purpose on a blog. And it’s demoralizing when a purpose can’t be found.

While at WordCamp, one phrase from Liz Strauss was a huge motivator. The phrase? “They come for you.”

You are the one unique value on your blog.

The information is everywhere. But you are the one who molds it, shapes it, and brings your experience to it.

As Liz puts it, readers come to a blog to read your stuff. And if it’s a multi-author blog such as this one, readers come for your writing, and perhaps others’.

Because, as Liz puts it, “Information — straight, clear information — is all over the Internet. But you aren’t.”

Conclusion

People will quit blogging. It’s a fact of life. Some blogs have just run their course.

But for those questioning why they should keep going, perhaps it’s for those readers that are coming just for you.

I’ve thought about quitting many times. But it’s often the readers that keep me going.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• Simonne’s Bio
• 13 Signs That Your Blog Needs a Change
• Things to Avoid - Drooling Over a-Listers
• My Thoughts on Being Paid to Post
• Liz Strauss at WordCamp Dallas Transcript

I was in a local restaurant this week when I made a small observation. My Diet Coke was going on empty, and a person who wasn’t my waiter came up and asked, “What are you having, Sir?”

“A Diet Coke, please.”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.”

The guy brought a new Diet Coke back, and my waiter also returned and exclaimed, “Oh, you already got your Diet Coke. Wow.”

Working Individually Harms the Customer

The waiter that I had at the restaurant was relatively new. And unfortunately my drink went past the empty mark, and a fellow team-member came to assist.

However, what if nobody came to help? I, as a customer, would have been dissatisfied with the service.

What if the staff was okay with my dissatisfaction? After all, I wouldn’t be leaving the other waiter the tip.

The individual mentality only works in the short-term. Long-term, I’m a customer of that particular establishment. If I receive one bad experience, it doesn’t reflect badly upon that particular waiter — it reflects badly upon the establishment as a whole.

So if a waiter interjects and helps out another waiter, the customer will be satisfied. The customer’s chances of returning are high (long-term). And quite possibly, that first waiter could have the returning customer, who can now leave that valuable tip.

The Team Environment in the Blogosphere

Multi-author blogs are not so different when it comes to the restaurant mentality. Authors are in charge of their own section, and in charge of their own readers (customers).

If readers want to leave a tip, it’s through comments, ad-clicks, and links.

With a team environment, however, an author sees the entire blog’s readers as their readers. A reader who comments on one post might as well be commenting on their post. A reader who is dissatisfied with one author might as well be dissatisfied with all authors. And a reader who expresses love for the site, also expresses love for the individual authors.

I’ve been apart of multi-author blogs where each author worked in his or her own sandbox. I didn’t like it.

Now I’m apart of a few blogs were the authors are in constant contact. We make decisions together. We coordinate posts and schedules. And we answer the reader questions, even when they aren’t on our own post.

We work as a team. And I’m grateful to be apart of something like that.

Conclusion

With multi-author blogs, it’s easy for each author to work in his or her sandbox. However, a team environment is much more beneficial for both the authors and the readers.

An author’s article and comments represent the site as a whole. And if other authors jump in to assist, the reader and the site are the beneficiaries.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• A Team Blogging Environment - Part 2
• A Picture on the About Page
• Keeping the Stakeholders Informed and Giving Credit
• Multi-Author Comment Notifications With WP Comment Notifier
• Multi-Page Posts Are…

It is a common saying that there are two certainties in this world: death, and taxes. I would like to add my own two cents into this saying and say that there are two things I consider truths in this world: you can’t change people, and people will take advice as freely as they give it.

You Can’t Change People

I have yet to meet someone that likes being changed.

Change (when done in a bad way) comes with a lot of negative emotions. A person can feel bullied, manipulated, and perhaps coerced.

While I was seeing a Christian counselor, I went through a book called, “The DNA of Relationships.” One of the things the book talked about was the circle of change.

Let’s start with an example with two people named John and Jane. Jane tries to force John into changing. John doesn’t like being changed by others, so he tries to stop Jane. By doing this, John is inadvertently trying to change Jane. And then Jane tries to change John, and so forth. It’s a downward spiral based on the fear of losing control.

It is possible to manipulate someone’s behavior, but is that really change?

One of the bigger arguments I had in my life was when I looked my other half in the eye and said, “Look, I know you want me to be a different person. But I’m not that person. I’m me. You can’t change who I am.” The words stung, but I was being honest. I wasn’t going to lie to myself anymore and pretend I was someone else.

People Take Advice as Freely as They Give It

There is no shortage of places to get advice. Just do a search on Google for the keyword advice.

In the U.S. there is an entire industry based on giving advice, such as counselors and therapists.

In the blogosphere there are many blogs just based on blogging advice alone (such as this one).

But advice is free. Or, it usually is.

If you break advice down to its fundamental form, it is merely a recommendation. And it is up to the person on the receiving end to accept or reject that recommendation.

There have been several times in my life where someone would come up to me in disgust and say, “This person wouldn’t be in xyz situation if they would’ve only listened to my advice.”

I usually respond, “He did listen. He just decided not to take it.”

And I usually receive the response, “Then why did he ask for advice if he wasn’t going to take it?”

Which I conclude, “You gave the advice. The person is under no obligation to take it, nor are you under any obligation to give it.”

Giving advice is giving a recommendation or opinion. Plain and simple. And people can take it (or reject it) as easily as people give it.

Conclusion

Within this post I presented two truths I deeply believe in:

• You can’t change people.
• People take advice as freely as they give it.

So what do these truths have to do with reader appreciation? Everything. Once one realizes these two truths, the person is free. I can spout all day about how bloggers should do this, or do that, but I can’t force them to remove ads or open comments. And the readers of this blog are free to take or reject any advice we dish out. Our advice is free. And so is your decision to take it.

Please weigh in on what you think of these truths. Are they truths for you? Would you add in a few more?

Thank you for reading.

This post contains an affiliate link.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• Best of the Reader Appreciation Project - Anniversary Edition
• Would You Appreciate Your Online Readers in the Offline World Also?
• Are Some Bloggers Promoting Ethnic Divisions in the Blogging World?
• Being Aware of Fake Appreciation
• Do You Comment on Blogs Based on the Belief of the Blogger?

The post is rather convicting in that it points out the ways that some bloggers are trying to implement a Do-Follow strategy, but falling quite short.

For those who do not know what the Do-Follow movement is, it is a movement that strips the “no-follow” attribute from a link a reader has left on your site. In theory this makes the reader’s comment more valuable from a search engine optimization perspective.

The Problem with the Do-Follow Movement

Don’s post highlights a serious problem with the Do-Follow movement: not all of the bloggers are honest about it. Either that, or some bloggers aren’t aware that the “no-follow” attribute is still being displayed.

One of the points that is brought up is that some bloggers join the movement without realizing action needs to be taken. This action is usually in the form of installing a plugin, placing a badge on a site, or manually editing code.

Spammers Reign Free

Another issue with Do-Follow that Don brings up is how spammers have taken over his comments. As a result, he dropped out of the Do-Follow movement and opted instead to reward his top commenters.

RA Project and Do-Follow

The Reader Appreciation Project has always been a supporter of the Do-Follow movement.

Andy Beard, a long-time proponent of the Do-Follow movement, has a nice list of tools to banish no-follow from comments and/or trackbacks. From that list we tried the Link Love plugin (site seems to be down, but e-mail me if you want to try the plugin).

I modified the Link Love plugin to remove the no-follow attribute from all comments, regardless if the commenter is a first-timer or not.

RA Project, Do-Follow, and Comment Signatures

There are some bloggers who disapprove of readers leaving signatures in their comments. Not here.

In further support of the Do-Follow cause, leaving a signature in your comment is fine. We do request you keep the signature to only one line with only one link (as per the our Comment Policy). All we request is that your comment adds to the conversation.

Are We Going to Disable Do-Follow?

As of this writing, I have no plans to drop out of the Do-Follow movement. I love the reader comments here and feel that “no-follow” is absolutely unnecessary.

If anything, I’d like to find a way to make the readers’ comments stand out more on this site. I’ll definitely keep this in mind for the upcoming RA Project re-design.

Conclusion

It is not our intention here to scam the readers and be a proponent of Do-Follow while still having the “no-follow” attribute in our comments. If for any reason you see otherwise, please contact us immediately.

We appreciate all comments here as long as they adhere to our comments policy. We allow signatures. We allow relevant links. To sum it up, we’re really not too picky as long as you add to the conversation.

What do you think about the “Do-Follow” movement? Is it helping the concept of reader appreciation, or could it be that it is just adding more confusion?

Thanks for reading.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• To Follow, or Not to Follow - on Twitter
• Poll: Turning Off Links in Comments
• 3 Ways to Fulfill the Promises You Make to Readers
• Late Follow-Ups Are Better Than No Follow-Ups
• Another Reader Appreciation Plugin: Wordpress Keyword Luv

Some of the readers were confused about the difference between trackbacks/pingbacks, and rightfully so. So what is a trackback and what is a pingback?

Trackbacks and Pingbacks?

For brevity’s sake, a trackback is a URL manually submitted by the post author to another blog stating that, “Hey, I referenced or added onto your post.”

A pingback, on the other hand, is automatically sent to any blog being linked to and the contents of the pingback are about a hundred words around the context of the link.

Although both trackbacks/pingbacks are different in their implementation, they typically show up the same way in the comments section. Therefore, from this point on, I will use the term trackbacks for both trackbacks and pingbacks.

Comments and Trackbacks

So what is a comment when compared to a trackback?

A comment is simply a reader’s opinion or belief being stated on your post. However, a trackback is a reader’s opinion or belief stated elsewhere (not on the blog post, but on an entirely different blog).

So what happens when a reader sees this?

• Comment 1: I like your point. It’s valid. Here’s my argument against it…
• Comment 2: [...] wrote several points about this topic and it has the implications [...]
• Comment 3: Too true. Commenter 1 makes a good point as well and I can see both sides.

Did you spot the trackback that Comment 2 left? Not exactly in context is it? All the comment is saying is, “Go here to read what I said.”

Would it not have been better that the reader left a meaningful comment on the post and stated, “I also expanded on your argument on this [linked] post.”

Trackbacks Are an Interruption of Conversation

I have been to too many blogs with several comments where the only conversation taking place is through external links.

I’ll go to a post with several comments only to discover that there are only trackbacks. This isn’t the blogger’s fault really. The default behavior for WordPress treats trackbacks about the same as comments.

Other times I’ll go to a blog and start reading through the comments, and then come across a section where trackbacks have started to take over the conversation. In the midst of all those trackbacks is a legitimate comment hidden amongst the trackback rubbish. The conversation on that blog was broken the moment the trackbacks started showing up in force.

Trackbacks and Group Writing Projects

I love participating in group writing projects. It’s a great way to discover blogs and it can provide inspiration for those periods when topics are running short.

I used to participate in them primarily for the links, but lately my strategy has changed, especially when participating in a large group project.

My recent contribution to a group project resulted in the Absolute Guide to Losing Readers. I decided to experiment and disable trackbacks for the post. And it seemed to work wonders for the conversation taking place on the post. The post did receive a lot of links, but my focus wasn’t on how many people would link to the post. It was on the readers and their comments.

If anything, I feel that group projects mis-use the concept of trackbacks and assume that every blogger is out there to get linked to. Getting linked to is not a bad thing, but I would rather have one in-context comment than a hundred linking to me in a list that says, “post by Ronald.”

Do Trackbacks Suck? What to do?

There are a few things you can do if you don’t like having trackbacks on your post.

For one, you can separate your trackbacks from your regular comments. I dislike this technique because of the necessity to edit template files. However, if you are comfortable with editing code, this technique should work for you.

Another technique is to disable trackbacks all-together from showing up on your blog. This can be done with my recent RA Project WordPress Plugin called Comment Sorter. From the admin back-end, the blog author can prevent trackbacks from showing on all posts. On the reader end, individual readers can decide their own trackback preferences.

What Do You Think?

I admit my opinion on trackbacks is rather harsh. I love links, but as stated earlier, I’d rather have a comment in-context with a link to the reader’s post.

So what do you think? Should trackbacks be disabled here at RA Project? Would you disable them on your own site? And what do you think about them on others’?

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• What Is Your Opinion on Trackbacks?
• Would You Like to Help Test Out WP Comment Sorter?
• Announcing WP Comment Sorter
• Are We Do-Follow Frauds?
• Comment Sorter Media

A while back I wrote an article for Weblog Tools Collection and placed it as a draft. The article had a strong tone and I asked for feedback from others. One of the responses was, “You’ll get a better response if you don’t sound so bitter.”

The advice I received was right: I will get a better response if I just make observations and ask nicely. A person is much more inclined to help someone who is polite rather than someone who rudely demands service.

When Your Car Breaks Down

Yesterday I arrived home from a grueling three week training class. After arriving from the airport (via Taxi), I unpacked some things and got in my vehicle to get something to eat. My car didn’t start. The battery had completely died.

I knocked on my neighbor’s door and asked if he could help jump-start my car. In that situation I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere if I had rudely demanded, “Hey man, come fix my vehicle with your battery cables.”

And When a WordPress Plugin Breaks

This morning I awoke to this comment here on RA Project from a plugin author about incompatibility:

Please CORRECT this plugin.

Your plugin subscribes to wp_admin_head() and adds a jQuery script statement to every back-end administration page - including the NAVT List page created for the NAVT plugin. Acting on the wp_admin_head() hook without first determining the page that is about to be displayed is, for lack of a better phrase, a ‘poor programming practice’.

Adding the jQuery script statement BEFORE the NAVT PLUGIN is able to add the prototype.js script renders the NAVT plugin unusable. I would go so far as to say that this practice of adding your header information to all administration pages would interfere with other plugins. I’ve had two complaints that your plugin and mine do not work together.

Please FIX it.
Thanks

Being the rather sensitive person that I am, the first things that stood out to me was “CORRECT”, “poor programming”, and “FIX”.

Plugin incompatibilities are a fact of life and my support of Ajax Edit Comments is not guaranteed. I guess even plugin authors forget we’re not being paid for our work. The demanding nature of the comment was an immediate turn-off and my desire to help the person was approaching negative infinity.

The person who originally brought the incompatibility (Mr. Papa) even stated that the author’s response was “a bit harsh”.

Conclusion

I eventually got my car fixed after taking it to a shop and receiving a new battery. And while I was at the shop waiting on my car, I was working on “correcting” my plugin to be less incompatible.

In hindsight, I didn’t correct the plugin for the plugin author. I corrected it for Mr. Papa, who was much more polite in asking for help.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• 5 Ways Some Bloggers Do Not Appreciate Readers Who Have Differing Views
• What Happens if We Combine Social Media With Automation?
• My Thoughts on Being Paid to Post
• Reward Both Top and Other Commentors
• Redirect Your Readers Nicely Using WP Redirection

The reasons I unsubscribed are:

• The blogger started talking about making money. I already have blogs I subscribe to for that purpose, and felt that I didn’t want another.
• The blogger had insulted values and other fellow bloggers I looked up to.
• I felt the blogger had lost touch with what the readers really wanted.
• The blogger expressed views of treating readers as expendable items.

It took me a while to actually decide to unsubscribe from this blogger’s content, but it happened with one post. I gave myself a criteria for unsubscribing, and gave the blogger an internal ultimatum. When the blogger didn’t meet what I had originally subscribed for, I broke the contract; I unsubscribed from the blog.

Does Unsubscribing Mean I Don’t Like the Blogger Anymore?

Not at all. If the blogger started another blog, I would probably check it out. I would also continue e-mailing and instant messaging the blogger. But would I have the strength to tell the blogger, “I no longer have interest in your content”?

And if you were on the receiving end of that statement, how would you feel? Would you still value me as an online friend if I told you I want nothing to do with your blog anymore? In other words, is the online friendship solely dependent on me reading your blog?

Can I Be Your Friend Without Reading Your Blog?

A while back I wrote about giving readers guilt trips. The point of the post was to not have unrealistic expectations of the readers.

Is it an unrealistic expectation that a reader will always read or be subscribed to your blog? Should a reader make a certain number of comments per month or be discounted? Should the reader (through e-mail or IM) always talk about your most recent post as a pre-requisite?

Wouldn’t it be ideal that a reader is loyal to you as a blogger beyond your blog? So if I stop reading your blog, can I still be your friend?

Conclusion

When I stopped reading a particular blog, I stopped with the idea in mind that I could still be friends with the blogger. I didn’t think the friendship relied exclusively with me reading the blogger’s content.

If you are a blogger, what do you think of the reader that no longer reads your blog? Is there still a relationship there, or is the contract with the reader now null and void?

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• Is It Ever Okay to Lose Readers?
• 10 Ways to Irritate Your Fellow Bloggers
• 5 Stereotypes of Blogger Appreciation

For each stereotype, I will first list the actual non-threatening reasons for which a reader may appear to be not appreciating you, and then I will list some reasons due to which a reader may actually not like you, thus giving the rise to such stereotypes. I call these 5 points stereotypes instead of myths: a myth cannot be verified easily or else it will not be a myth, though a stereotype is a broader generalization based on observing only a few people or situations where what the stereotype generalizes may be true.

5 Stereotypes of Blogger Appreciation

1. Unsubscribing from your blog’s RSS feeds

   Just because someone unsubscribes from your blog does not mean that they are your enemy. That means your relationship with anyone may not be affected simply because they are not subscribers to your blog. Your relationship with them is probably on a level other than your blog, and thus they may simply be unsubscribing from your blog for reasons other than hating you, like not wanting to subscribe to any online RSS feeds, not wanting to read blogs and thus saving time, not being interested in certain topics you write, visiting your blog daily and thus eliminating the need to have a subscription to your site.

   Now, you should also note that in some cases, a person unsubscribing from your blog may be sending you a strong message. I have done this myself, including last week: if a blogger does not appreciate her or his readers or does something wrong that affects me directly, I unsubscribe from their blog updates and feeds. They may or may not notice. To me it does not matter whether or not they notice my unsubscription, as I unsubscribe to send a message and to also eliminate the source that may be causing some issue for me.

2. Stop leaving a comment on your blog

   Many times, I will get bored of commenting or will feel like not commenting on certain blogs or all blogs. I have had some bloggers ask me if I do not like something on their blog or their behavior that prompted me to stop commenting on their blogs. I always say that I try to comment when I feel like it, and when I can, literally: I have not commented on Simonne’s blog in probably a long time. That does not mean I hate her blog or want to break ties with her; it just means that I have not gotten around to commenting, or that I am enjoying reading these days more than commenting.

   You should also note that in many cases, not commenting can be another strong signal that someone may be breaking ties with your blog, if any such ties existed. You have to realize from time to time, if not all the time, what your actions may be doing to affect other people. Such a realization can tell you whether or not someone’s act of not commenting on your site stems from a simple decision to not comment or a simple decision to boycott commenting on your site, or maybe even something else.

3. Leaving disagreeing comments on your blog

   Many people, if not the majority, assume that any disagreement means a personal attack. I like to think on the contrary. I do not like having friends who have the exact same interests and who agree to everything I believe in. That does not mean I want my friends to disagree with me for the purpose of disagreeing: that means I want everything to think everything on their own. Similarly, I usually notice a lot of online people feeling offended if someone leaves a disagreeing comment. Many times people may say something that they think is right without wanting to prove you wrong, since they may simply be comfortable posting on your site and may assume that any different opinion will not hurt your relationship with them. In such cases, it can be premature to let the relationship with a reader or a commentor get affected, simply because you do not like the fact that they thought differently than you.

   Now, as usual, many times a disagreeing comment can be a sign that someone feels strongly against what you may be wanting to imply or say or do, or what you have already implied or said or done. In such cases, responding to the disagreeing comment in a normal manner in order to address the topic at hand and not the comment at hand can help a lot, as many people may feel that you attacking their comments means that you are attacking them directly. Notice the trends of the disagreeing comments that come from the same user, see what topics that user disagrees with, see how and why the user disagrees, and so on. Analyzing or at least noticing such trends and behavior can help you realize what aspects of your behavior and blogging may be causing the other person to disagree.

4. Commenting on competing blogs

   Jealousy is a bad thing according to the majority, if not 99.99%, of the world. Today I would like to briefly point out some of the bad side-effects of jealousy. Seeing a reader blog on a competing blog can make us assume that the reader is running over to the other blog. The reader may simply be more interested in the content the other blogger is producing and may not be less interested in what you are producing. The reader may also be simply trying new things, though you may assume that the reader has been seduced by the other blogger, and thus that reader is now going to be someone else’s loyal commentor and not yours. In reality, all that may be happening is that the reader may actually be only commenting on the other blog for the short term: many people comment on new blogs that they find interesting on a heavier-than-usual basis, only to slow down their commenting trend on those new blogs once enough time has passed.

   You should also keep in mind that the reader may have actually run over to the other side. The other blogger may have shown more respect to the reader, or you may have pushed the reader away from you by producing content that the reader has started to find boring or by not respecting the reader enough. You may also have changed your blog completely, like changing from talking about making people happy to talking about ways to earn money, which many people also find to be equivalent to being happy. However, the reader in question may find such a change unacceptable, and may be moving on. In many cases, there is usually no harm in frankly and politely e-mailing the other person and inquiring as to how they are and as to the reason they have not communicated with you through your blog, if you really want to figure out what may be going on.

5. Stopping private communication with you

   A reader may have privately communicated with you via comments, e-mails, instant messages or through some other form. If a reader simply stops their private communication with you, there could be a myriad of reasons for such behavior. The reader may have some other priorities in their offline life than to regularly interact with you. The reader may also feel that online communication is not what they are looking for. The reader may have found more people to talk to, which means that they may not necessarily be ignoring you, and may instead be simply talking to a lot of people and not having the time to communicate on a private level with you anymore.

   Stopping personal communication may also be one of the strongest signs that someone is not talking to you because you may have done something wrong according to their perspective. You may have done something to offend or disappoint the other person. Remember: communicating on a private level is a huge deal for many people. It is a huge deal for me. Thus, many elements in private communication may be stronger than similar elements in public communication. Since you have already communicated with someone privately, it can be good in many cases to actually communicate directly with the other person and ask them the reason of their silence.

Stereotype or reality? The answer is “Both, and it depends.“

The above are 5 of the many daily stereotypes that many bloggers face when it comes to readers. From unsubscribing from RSS feeds to not commenting to disagreeing to commenting elsewhere to not communicating with you on a private level, a reader may not be around your site much due to a lot of reasons. These reasons can comprise of both reasons revolving around the reader simply wanting to try something new and not disliking what you have, to reasons revolving around the reader wanting to try something new because of disliking you and disliking what you have.

I hope this helps you in realizing whether or not any reader of yours is being appreciated by you, and whether or not a reader feels appreciated well enough for the time and energy they spend on your blog.

Question for you

Which type of blogs have to deal with and keep in mind such stereotypes and their analysis more in order to either maintain or eliminate friendships and reader relationships: small blogs where bloggers usually know every reader on a personal level, or large blogs where bloggers usually do not know majority of the readers on a personal level?

Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• Blogger Appreciation Day
• Announcing Reader Appreciation Project
• 5 Ways to Gauge a Blogger’s Maturity Level
• The Boomerang Effect of Reader Appreciation
• Usability or Stereotypes?

This week I had the privilege of staying in my first 4-Star hotel. Four-Stars are supposed to be somewhat luxurious in appearance and have great service. But man was I in culture shock.

When I walked into the lobby, someone was playing on a grand piano with numerous suits-and-ties watching with interest. I showed up after driving for six hours with jeans, and two duffle-bags over my shoulders.

As nice as the hotel was, I noticed a few things. One, things I normally didn’t have to pay for at cheaper hotels had a charge. And two, I didn’t feel at all welcome.

The Hidden Costs

If I would have stayed at a regular Holiday Inn, I would have had free parking, free Wi-Fi, and a complimentary breakfast.

Since I was staying at this particular hotel, however, I had to pay parking. And I had to pay about $10 a day for Internet. For breakfast (they deliver it to your room), you have to pay the cost of the meal, delivery charge, gratuity, and tax.

The charges seemed so excessive that I was really afraid to do anything in my hotel except sleep. I didn’t want to wake up with a “calling the front desk” bill or something.

As a result of these hidden costs, I was constantly aware of where I was and what I was doing in this hotel. In other words, I couldn’t enjoy myself without worrying completely.

The “Unwelcome” Feeling

Since the hotel was somewhat classy, I felt out of place. I paid my share like everyone else staying there. Why did I feel different?

I think in a way, it had to do with the various charges and how everything seemed to come at a cost. I was “welcome” as long as I continued to hand out my credit card.

How Does This Relate to Blogging/Websites?

There are a lot of sites out there promising the premium 4-Star treatment on the web. If you pay a certain amount a month, you have access to “all” the privileges. That is until that “all” only becomes one of several premium packages.

By slapping readers with various hidden charges, it’s somewhat of a burden. I hate going to websites where I click on a link and it starts immediately asking me for my credit card information. It feels like a bait-and-switch or foot-in-the-door sales tactic. I don’t like it.

My advice is if you are going to charge for something, charge for it all up front. Please don’t make a website be a slippery slope of hidden charges where a reader will feel slighted or even scammed.

Conclusion

Getting the 4-Star treatment is nice, but in my case, the price wasn’t included up front as there were various hidden charges. To put this in perspective, I’m currently staying in a two-bedroom suite with a kitchen and free Internet for a fraction of what I paid at the 4-Star. Am I going to feel more welcome here than at the 4-Star? Perhaps not, but at least I won’t be worrying about what I can or cannot do.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• Best of the Reader Appreciation Project - Anniversary Edition
• 5 Ways to Disrespect Readers
• Feeling Like a Rockstar
• Plugin Review - WP Comment Remix
• Keeping the Stakeholders Informed and Giving Credit

Imagine if today I criticized your blog publicly and said that your blog was a waste of time and energy in this universe. Now imagine that tomorrow you find out that I have opened a competing blog to yours, and the only reason I criticized your blog today was to ruin its reputation or to destroy it and to enable my own blog to survive and make money. How much respect would you have for me then? Take that exact concept and apply it to many situations in the online world.

Following are 2 examples of this manipulation tactic: one is clear, while the other is shady and debatable because not all of such behavior means something or someone is being manipulated on purpose from all sides.

Matt opposed sponsored Wordpress themes in order to earn money

Matt criticized the idea of sponsored Wordpress themes earlier this year. Matt said that other people called him names, and I agree with him that such a thing was not the most effective way to get Matt to listen to something. Matt himself has used the word “rats” to refer to his opposers and everyone who supported the idea of having paid links in another program, Vanilla, so I am guessing the name-calling game is something you can expect to encounter online on an almost balanced level. However, what Matt did not mention to those “rats” and anyone else back then, including RA Project readers in the thread titled “Case Study - the Pros and Cons of banning sponsored wordpress themes“, was that his own company was coming up with WordPress Marketplace, which would benefit financially from the demise of sponsored Wordpress themes.

Matts’ company, through WordPress Marketplace, will get a 50% percentage cut from Wordpress theme sales. I was more than right after all in my original post: Matt had and Matt has financial interest in the topic of Sponsored Wordpress themes, for many reasons I mentioned back then that are still valid, and for this new reason of taking a percentage cut also. I feel unappreciated, for Matt did not acknowledge the monetary factor as being the main reason back then, and now the real truth is out. I feel disrespected, as if someone had tried to manipulate me. Someone told me that since I myself use WordPress, I have to be able to reserve some green spotlight for Matt. I guess that is true, no?

What about CopyBlogger, Chris G, Darren Rowse, Daniel, others, and “Teaching Sells”?

How about the confusing, shady part where we do not know whether or not real money is involved? Not everyone is evil all the time, right? I agree, or at least I would like to hope so. My second example is a little bit more complex one on many levels, and involves many people. The free “Teaching Sells” report by the creator of Copy Blogger. Almost every other famous blogger talked about it, including Daniel on Daily Blog Tips and Chris G.

Within a week of those announcements, CopyBlogger launched the pro version of “Teaching Sells”, and upon further notice it seems that many bloggers had referral links to that program all along. That is fine, but here are some of the questions I ask myself: how many of these bloggers, who advertised the free report, knew that a paid version was coming out and promoted the content only to make sure more report copies sold for CopyBlogger? What benefit are they getting through using a referral url? How can people promote a 3-month course within 3 hours of its launch, when no one has taken it yet? Would it not have been better if it was declared in advance that everyone was using a referral link because the program would release a paid version very soon? Did the bloggers not tell their readers anything about the pro version on purpose, and many acted as a group to promote the product in order to make money?

Sure, there is nothing wrong with marketing, but I would like to know who is giving me sincere, honest and unbiased advice and who is trying to advertise someone elses’ product in order to mainly benefit themselves. Such a declaration of monetary or other interest would have kept many people, including myself, from even visiting the reports page to see what the fuss was about. I am guessing people like me are in the minority, people who care about the motives and reasons behind everything. Isn’t advertising a post that solely depends on a referral link the same as a paid post? That is where the confusion lies: how do you know what is being manipulated, and how do you know what is being given sincerely?

Why are people scared of talking openly about their love for money?

Why most people are scared of being honest about their financial interest is beyond me. What will happen if you say “I earn so and so from this“; will you die? Will you get abducted? Will you get slapped? One of the only main reasons that could exist for anyone always hiding their financial interest and manipulating others is to earn more than than is possible while behind honest. I guess greed is good, for people will still earn profit and survive if they simply expressed their financial interest in things. Quick question: isn’t this the area where John Chow is more honest than most other famous bloggers who do earn money but manipulate others into thinking that they care about readers more than money?

Blogging for monetary reasons

Darren Rowse blogs to make money online. Daniel blogs to make money online. Copy Blogger blogs to show example of his work in order to make money online and offline. Chris G blogs in order to make money online and offline through referrals and business contacts networking. John Chow blogs to make money online through his personal site and to send traffic back and forth to his main business site. How hard is it to express such and similar facts directly, in addition to producing quality content? A newspaper reminds you all the time how much it costs by listing the price on the front page; you know that the newspaper is making you money, and you value its content too. Why can’t bloggers follow suit?

Not blogging for money

I don’t know why one would say “I appreciate my readers” while manipulating those same readers by hiding personal or corporate financial interests that depends on the behavior of those readers. Many people are too scared to change trends, to declare personal financial interest, and to actually pinpoint the bad things they see in other things. That results in 2 groups of bloggers: those who blog for money directly or indirectly, and those who do not have any direct or indirect financial interest in blogging. Of course, blogging for money is not a bad thing, but I believe that those who blog for money are in a completely different class than those who do not blog for money, specially when intentions and reasons behind blogging are being considered.

Criticizing or supporting an idea for personal financial gains, without revealing such a fact, is manipulating people. Maybe the manipulators need to come up with new tactics so that they cannot be spotted easily. Whatever the case may be in any situation, it is better to explain and declare personal financial interests, whether in detail or not, when it comes to any topic we may be criticizing or supporting, at the expense of other peoples’ comfort. Try name-calling face to face in the offline world simply because you want to earn more money, and see what happens to you and your reputation.

What do you think, my dear readers? How much can I manipulate you all for? Any bidders out there who are willing to pay me to manipulate my readers? Can I get $100 if I lied to you, the readers? How about $1000? Do I hear an offer for $10,000? No one?

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

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First things first: the argument that making a living from blogging automatically equates one to a pro is flawed. The argument, when applied to other industries, assumes that if one makes a living doing something, one is automatically a pro.

Using the monetary logic, that makes the Walgreens clerk I interact with a professional cashier. And the maintenance people who take my trash are professional garbage collectors. Or what about those delivering the newspapers? Would they be professional publication distribution officials?

Let’s look at the word professional in a sports setting. A person playing for the National Football League is a professional football player, but may not necessarily make his entire living from football. Same goes for a professional baseball player in Major League Baseball. Would the guy making money from Triple-A baseball be a professional? Not really.

Let’s move onto the corporate world. Lawyers and doctors don’t have to have the “pro” in front of their name. However, lawyers and doctors are seen as professionals. However, what about the doctor or lawyer working pro bono and not making their living from their job? Would they be any less of a professional since they no longer make a living with their profession?

My point out of this whole argument is that just because someone makes their entire income doing something doesn’t automatically make them a pro. And blogging is no exception.

I would argue that making money “may” be one of the criteria for being a professional blogger, and I believe Bes covered his bases when he listed all of the other factors too. Bloggers that I admit to being a pro typically share some of the following traits:

• They have authority in their niche.
• They are approachable, objective, and friendly.
• They interact with other readers/bloggers.
• They exhibit a natural ability to market themselves.
• They are humble.
• They aren’t all about blogging. Blogging is the tip of the iceberg.
• And yes, some make money at blogging.

Two bloggers that I think exhibit these characteristics of the top of my head are Darren Rowse and Liz Strauss.

Conclusion: Money Alone Doesn’t Make One Professional

In conclusion, I’d like to point out that making money doesn’t make someone professional in my book. There are other factors to weigh in here.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

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I would like to use 2 imaginary, hypothetical examples to show how the concept of linkbaits is given a bad image.

Writing only or mainly to linkbait, and not to produce any content

This is one of the least obvious things that gives linkbait a bad name. Many blogs write content only to create linkbait, or draw attention by producing content or links that exists only to attract certain people in because their name or topic or website is mentioned somewhere on purpose.

Let us take an imaginary, hypothetical example: assume that I wrote an article on my personal site, “6 weird things about me“, only to attract the people Ronald linked or referred to in that article. Now imagine in this hypothetical example that Simonne as a response also wrote a post “Six weird things of mine“, also to only create a linkbait scheme to attract people she linked to. Now imagine one of the readers of the site that me or Simonne linked to read that article, and e-mailed the site owner in question about the supposed fact that me or Simonne had written a quality content article and that those articles should be read by more people. Even if the articles are of inferior quality in this hypothetical example, the mere mention of my or Simonnes’ site by a third party results in more views, and someone who actually does realize that such articles have no value and were written only to attract people who were link to, will have a more than strong prejudice against any application of the concept of linkbait, resulting in even the most impressive and quality-rich posts with the least form of linkbaits to be hated. For that person who realizes and any other person who is told about that realization, there may be no middle ground, and thus for them all linkbaits may be bad.

In this hypothetical example, the mere validity of my site by another reader not related to me can further blind the fact that someone may be linkbaiting. Because of such blindness, anytime someone even links to anyone, we may start assuming that are linkbaiting. It is as if some people write simply to link to others, so that they can get more links: linking to someone can usually result in an automatic a public trackback link created on the page you link to, and thus others can see your site too.

Falsely accusing a critic of linkbaiting to divert attention from the true criticism

This is one of the most powerful ways to abuse the concept of linkbaits. Assume that you write something on your site that is not correct in some manner, and that I point it out on my site in an article I write. You, as a result, do not like me and thus instead of responding to my writing on different levels, you start telling others that I wrote my article simply as a linkbait.

Let us take an imaginary, hypothetical example: assume that the post Chris G wrote, saying that someone [without mentioning his/her real name or the post in question] was using linkbait only to attract his attention and that the person in question was a troll, was actually written as a response to my posts and Chris Gs’ and my comments regarding appreciation and fake appreciation.

Now imagine that a reader of mine hypothetically found out that post by Chris, and that the reader e-mailed me to tell me how Chris G, instead of appreciating me as his reader, is hiding behind his monitor and blog and insulting one of his original loyal readers [me] and calling me a “troll” simply because I talked about views I believe in, and is labeling my entire effort as a linkbait simply because it goes against his business model. Imagine the reader who knows the whole story thinking that Chris G is simply scared of facing the truth and is running back and hiding on his blog, where he can feel better by criticizing me and not tell his readers who I am nor tell them the whole story; for that reader, Chris G will appear as a manipulator who does not appreciate his readers in reality. However, readers on Chris G will not know anything about the whole story in this example, since they do not know who Chris G is referring to, and many readers judge the story based on what Chris G says, resulting in the concept of linkbait being given a bad name unjustly, and also resulting in me being called a troll and insulted unfairly simply because I say things that Chris G does not agree to.

In this hypothetical example, the mere mention of linkbait being a bad thing simply because someone is criticizing you can be a tool to make someone look bad, while giving linkbaiting a bad name. Sometimes, many bloggers will call any critic, who is criticizing logically and rationally, a linkbaiter simply to divert peoples’ attention from the issue at hand to the possibility of that person to be a linkbaiter. It is as if anytime you say something they do not like, they can call you a linkbaiter and people will start wondering too.

Linkbait is not a bad thing; abusing it is

Like many things that damage their surrounding environment when abused, the idea of linkbaits can be pretty powerful in causing damage to something when abused or when misused. Realizing what one thing is can help in realizing when one abuses it and when one is not abusing it. Realizing the concept can further enable us to realize when one is manipulating us into believing that someone is linkbaiting, when in reality that may not be the case. So whether you write only to linkbait or you write without wondering or focusing even a little bit on linkbait, your actions can result in your posts being labeled as linkbaits, resulting in a circle where the concept of linkbait gets a bad name.

So, do you linkbait?

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Today I would like to draw your attention to the puzzle that defines a professional blogger for many people. Figuring out this puzzle even a little bit can help us appreciate many bloggers more. Figuring out this puzzle can also allow us to see which bloggers are manipulating and twisting the idea of professional blogging in order to simply portray an illusion of superiority and to lure us in as readers so that they can benefit.

Is there a criteria for determining a Professional Blogger?

To determine whether or not one is a professional blogger, what is needed is an element or a group of elements that can be combined and that stay valid in each and every form and in every case. If an element that is used as a criteria does not apply to any blog, then either something is wrong with the theory or something is wrong with the element that is being used in the criteria.

There are several ways to look into these variables. In one way, we can first look at the people who claim some variables to be important and then at whether or not such variables are indeed important. Taking this approach, we can see that different people have different ways to look at traffic, comments, rss feed subscribers and amount of income in order to determine whether or not one is a professional blogger. Many people come up with different requirements for being a professional blogger since those people themselves are professional bloggers and they wish to justify their own self-proclaimed status.

There is another way we can look at this. We can first look at the elements and then look at the reasons why those elements were brought up to be considered by others. Here are the main elements majority of the famous bloggers today consider in order to call someone or themselves professional bloggers:

Traffic

This one is easy to dissect. If the amount of traffic classifies one as a professional blogger, then does that mean that a blogger blogging only a single post on a blog, attracting that attracts millions of readers, is a professional blog? In many perspectives no, that blogger is not a professional blogger, as one post, which can be something important or something controversial, does not define the professionalism of that person in the topic of blogging.

All blogs that claim to be professional blogs based on traffic are not professional blogs if traffic is the only criteria they use. Show that blogger this post or show the blog to me, please.

RSS Subscribers

People who decide whether or not one is a professional blogger based on RSS Subscribers do not know how to determine a professional blogger. If someone does not have RSS feeds, does that automatically disqualify them from being a professional blogger? It should not, in the original unmodified theory of simple blogging and professionalism, and thus this criteria is not valid in determining whether or not one is a professional blogger.

Number of posts and posting frequency

It can be a grave mistake to assume that the more posts you have, the more professional you are. Many people keep telling others to keep writing, and keep writing. “Sooner or later comments/readers/traffic will start pouring in.” I hate such advice, and I am a bit wary of anyone who gives such advice. I write something to be heard. I eat bread and milk through money earned outside of my blog. Therefore, if I write something, I want people to hear it. I want people to read it. I want people to know what I said. It is the same as in the offline world: I am not going to talk if no one is listening. Even if there is a potential for anyone or anything to listen, I will talk.

The people who keep telling others to keep writing without worrying about who is listening are usually focusing on search engines. As time passes, search engines will find your site and your many posts will get indexed. Thus, the mentality of such people is that the more posts you write, sooner or later comments and traffic will come in. These people do not focus on the message or the effect that the message is hoping to achieve. Well, I do, and that is why I sometimes post every day, and I sometimes post every now and then. I try to maintain a schedule but I do my best to not be obligated. I want to write what I feel like, and not what I am forced to write. If it was a job to write, I would write everything in advance in a random, chaotic order, so that I can have things ready without any bias, and things that truly express myself.

Comments

This can be one of the tricky elements. Many bloggers hold the view that people commenting on a post mean people are supporting a post and thus the post content is good. However, many times you can easily seduce people into posting even without giving them anything back. For example, the recent birthday contest held by ProBlogger, most of the contests had only a single winner.

That means that 99.99% of all the commentors wanting to win a prize got nothing back, and commented solely in hopes of getting something. Thus, they commented not to verify and validify the quality of a site but to get a monetary prize in a contest and in the end, the very validity they were providing resulted in them not getting anything back. Most of the new people commented because they saw prizes in a competition, and not because they wanted to talk about what the ProBlogger site was actually about.

Another example if Seth Godins’ blog; he does not allow comments on his blog, yet he publishes information that is considered top notch by many in the marketing industry. Does not having comments mean Seth Godin is not a professional blogger? We need a single element or a combination of elements that define professional bloggers in every manner, and the number of comments is not one of them.

Thus, the number of comments can sometimes be asily increased by having things like competition which do not mean that all the comments signify the good quality of a blog.

Money

In my view, this is the most complicated factor today that is being counted as the sole factor in determining the professional status of a blogger by many, if not most, people. Does this mean that any blog that does not earn money is not, and can never be, a professional blogger? Is this the reason why many pro-money bloggers hate and keep insulting teenager and other bloggers who do not blog for money, and vice versa?

Money is different than all other elements because it is a physical, end result that can be had directly or indirectly, online or offline. Many of the other elements are important for many bloggers because it earns them money in the end. You hear of bloggers calling their business partners or bloggers with power “friends”? They do that to get contacts in hopes of making money in the future. Ever hear of niched blogs, which are blogs with niches, which tend to make money or send direct or indirect, online or offline, referrals of any kind so that the blogger in question can make money? Almost all of such blogs exist solely to make money.

How many blogs will still blog in order to make money? I know money is important, and for me, blogging is a passion. I try my best not to allow money to become part of blogging. How many blogs that you know will still blog if they were not allowed to put any ads on their site, and if they were also not allowed to link to their companies, to their businesses, to their resumes and last, to mention their name? I can safely say I have done all of that, and for a long time in various forms. However, I do not see myself calling myself a professional blogger. Why and how is it then that someone blogging for money, since money is the common element here, can claim that he or she is a professional blogger? See if you can figure out whether any blogger from the following list blogs for money, or does not blog for money, and whether or not any of the following bloggers claim that they are professional bloggers. Also, see if you can notice any similarities or differences in these blogs and bloggers:

Chris G
CopyBlogger
Daily Blog Tips
John Chow
Kottke
ProBlogger
Seth Godin

On top of all this, what is a professional blogger anyhow? Can I, after all these years of blogging and keeping my online knowledge and wisdom in a small titanium safe under my bed, call myself a professional blogger? I have been online, writing and blogging longer and more thoroughly than many of these bloggers. Now, if time is not an element, then I have talked about different important topics and trends that affect us so that you and I can both benefit. I have talked about things without the influence of money, and that has resulted in more problems than solutions for me. Was not making money the main point of my blog a bad thing? Is the “professional blogger” status a real status? Is it necessary? Is it being abused? Is it being over-used? It is a way to differentiate the rich from the non-rich? Can you please point me to anyone who calls themselves a professional blogger so I can ask them “What criteria did you use to self-proclaim a professional blogger status?” I grew up all my life thinking honor and respect is earned. Maybe I needed special childhood training that many other bloggers have and had, so that I could have been taught to self-proclaim being better without showing it. Can you please tell me where I should have been born instead, so that I can know and maybe regret forever where such a pro-self-proclaimist training during childhood takes place?

How about those that do not claim to be professional bloggers?

Since we are asking questions, how about this: Why are the following bloggers not talking about being professional bloggers as of today, and why are they not recognized by the A-listers, a list that in its very nature is founded on shaky and monetary grounds, as being professional bloggers? These people have blogged about more controversial and thought-provoking topics than any of the top 50 A-listers [name them, and I will show you], and even if any of these below bloggers is earning money through their blog, they even blog negatively and openly about the very people that pay them, in those people are doing something wrong. In contrast, all you see from the self-proclaimed professional bloggers is sucking to advertisors and topics which are related to their jobs, and some more sucking up. And wait! I almost forgot: even more sucking up. Here are the bloggers that do not claim to be professional bloggers, yet they have contributed more to the blogosphere than the self-proclaimists. Here are a few of the bloggers who at the moment stand away from the self-proclaimed professional bloggers. Some of these bloggers I know for a long time and some for a short time; the level of interaction I have had with each one varies tremendously.

All Tips And Tricks
Chase the Stars
Jeffro 2pt0
Ronalfy
Sawai
Valerie
Vera
Vixx

In addition to the nice pattern design the above list makes, do you notice any similarities or differences between the different bloggers and blogs?

Do you think I am a professional blogger?

Who here thinks I’m a professional blogger? Raise your hands higher please, I can’t see anyone. Anybody? Anyone? Hello? Hmmm, ok, I have to wait maybe another 10 years to get heard and then maybe recognized, then. Being heard is more important, unfortunately, so I can deal with that, I think. I can figure out how to earn main money through channels other than my blog; that way my blog cannot be tainted easily and can survive the ages, as it has been.

Thank you for reading!

Thanks for reading. I hope this allows you to question more and to come up with some more answers, so that you can realize whether or not the idea of being a professional blogger should have any effect on anything, and whether or not it has an effect on the blogosphere currently and on you. If you blog honestly, regardless of the amount of money you make or if you even make any money online, and if you talk about what you think is right whether or not it is always good only or mainly for you, you are a professional blogger in my view. Rock on!

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• The Criteria for Being a Pro Blogger Is Money?
• What Is Reader Appreciation? Disclosing Monetary Interests
• Online People, Fake Appreciation, Manipulation, and Being Quiet?
• Blogger Appreciation Day
• The Three Types of Bloggers I Try to Avoid

As food for thought, I thought I’d present some offline examples of when I was trying to use appreciation techniques and my intentions were questioned. As a result, I never visited the places again.

Getting a Meal

When I was seventeen years old, I worked at a small grocery store as a bagger in a rural town. One lady always bought a large load of groceries and most of the other carry-out people were reluctant to bag her groceries. I took on the challenge and developed a casual talking relationship with the lady every time she came in.

One day she expressed that she had gotten a new job at a local restaurant. I told her I’d stop in and order something and say hello, which she seemed fine with at the time.

When I showed up, she had a concerned look on her face and sat down briefly at my booth.

“My husband is concerned why a seventeen year old kid is expressing interest in his wife. I just wanted to know what your intentions are for being here.”

I probably had a puzzled look on my face and I explained that I was just here to eat and support her at her new job since she always was so nice to me at the grocery store. I wasn’t pursuing a relationship with this obviously married and devoted woman.

I never went to the restaurant or spoke to the lady again.

Getting a Haircut

Here in my town I frequented a haircut place quite often because the lady who cut my hair was always really nice. For some reason I couldn’t write in my tip when I charged the purchase, so I always left her without a tip. And I felt bad about it because I consider myself a good tipper.

So one day she tells me a story about how she wrecked her car and how her husband had also been in a minor accident. I felt bad about it and since I had never given her a tip for the three or so haircuts she had given me, I walked to a nearby Chili’s and bought her a gift card. I brought it back and she was very thankful.

When I returned for my next haircut, I could tell she was a little uneasy. I asked her a few questions about her husband and if she had gotten a new vehicle since the last time I talked to her she was just in an accident.

Then she asked me, “So, how much out of your way is this place?”

I didn’t understand the question. Sure, the haircut place was a little out of my way, but it depended on which way I was going.

So I responded, “Well, not too much out of the way since I live nowhere close to a haircut place.”

“Oh.” She replied, “Because the gift you gave me last time was a bit much.”

I tried to cut the awkwardness, “Well, I never carry cash on me and I took the gift card as making up for lost tips. I apologize.”

That was the last haircut I got at the haircut place.

Conclusion

In both situations, my intentions were good. I was trying to show appreciation and customer service, but my intentions were unfairly questioned. As a result, I never visited the establishments again.

You’ll never know the “true” intentions of appreciation, so in some situations, it is better to take the appreciation rather than question why you are the recipient.

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Related Articles at The Reader Appreciation Project:

• Reader Appreciation Week
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• Avoid Fake Appreciation
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What if that one post was the one straw that broke the camel’s back? What if it exposed a blogger for who he/she really is? What if the reader was tired of the content, and finally the one post motivated the reader to go the effort and unsubscribe?

Losing Readers is Not Okay

Losing readers is a fact of life, just like losing customers in retail is a fact of life. However, acknowledging the loss of readers and rationalizing the loss over non-loyalty is a slap in the face of all readers with half a brain

A Papa John’s Analogy

I was in Six Flags in Atlanta, Georgia in line for Papa John’s pizza. Papa John’s was a brand I recognized and knew I would somewhat enjoy. However, as I approached the front of the line, I could hear two co-workers talking about how there are too many customers.

“Why don’t they just go away? There are dozens of other places to eat?”

My jaw dropped. Having worked in customer service for so long, I found it preposterous that someone who was a face to the customer had such a negative view on their business. The rational was that they (Papa John’s) already had too many customers. The “extra” customers were an inconvenience.

Losing Customers

If I were to apply the blogging mentality of losing readers to retail, then a business would be okay with losing customers as long as it was gaining more than it was losing. The theory would be that the customers who stayed were the most loyal.

However, look at AOL customers. For a while, AOL was completely fine with its bad business practices as long as it continued to have customers. Now that AOL has lost a lot of their customer base, are the remaining customers the most loyal? Or could we call them something else?

Losing Readers

Bloggers can and will lose readers, even with one post. However, it is simply irresponsible to imply that the readers who jumped ship were the least loyal and that the post in question shouldn’t have mattered as much as it did. The point is, the post did matter, and a potentially long-standing reader abandoned ship because a post (and the follow-up post) displayed the attitude the blogger displays for the individual reader.

Conclusion

In retail, all customers should be treated as the returning customer — the loyal customer. We who work the counter are the faces of our business.

For a blog, there is typically only one face, and if the blogger snubs his face at one reader, there are literally a million other places to go. Why should a reader show loyalty when the blogger shows none in return?

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Such a thing is happening on the blogosphere also: bloggers are luring in readers to blogs, and then those same bloggers are not giving readers anything more than what the readers were getting before becoming loyal readers of that blog. In this article, by new reader I am referring to people coming to a site for the first time or rarely, and by confirmed or current reader, I am referring to people coming to a site regularly or subscribing to the RSS feeds of that site.

What do many airline companies, banks, and blogs have in common?

Like dozens of companies the airline industry, many other businesses treat new customers better than existing customers, an increasing number of blogs are treating blog readers depending on their loyalty level. If a reader is not yet a loyal blog reader, the blogger will respect and communicate with that reader a lot, offering incentives in return for that readers’ continued and confirmed visits in the future. For such bloggers, once there is a confirmed reader, it is time to move on and appeal to a new reader instead of satisfying and giving back more to the current reader.

Promising readers gold for their RSS subscriptions

There are RSS buttons all over blogs, asking readers to subscribe to RSS feeds. But when a reader subscribes, the reader only gets the information they were already getting, and less attention. “Subscribe” to this, reply to that, post for this, read for that. Everyone is calling for an action, and once that action is done and the blogger benefits, nothing usually comes back to the reader other than silence or a usual, automated form of “thank you for your comment.”

Current readers get no benefit for being active readers

Why are there no new incentives for current readers, instead of new readers? Why are there no giveaways and contests where a current reader does not have to do anything more for the blogger? Many other contests out there exist in order to bring in more traffic and comments to the blog and more money to the blogger, instead of existing only to benefit the current and existing active readers. Current readers get no extra benefit compared to when they were new readers, and on top of that, they get even less attention, communication and respect than before.

There are no managers to complain to in the blogosphere. You don’t like a blog? You will most probably be told to not visit that blog anymore. Of course, all of your energy, time and clicks spent promoting that blog directly or indirectly will be ignored, and you will not be rewarded. The blogosphere can be a very cold place, and yet such a fact is not disclosed when readers are invited to RSS subscriptions, to comments, to posts and to more visits. Everything is warm as long as you are a new reader. Once you are a confirmed reader, you become just another reader “out there.” You get a lot of messages to do things when you are a new reader. You get no attention and no appreciation whatsoever on many blogs once you become a confirmed reader.

Are many bloggers focusing only on turning new readers into current readers?

There are no more invitations for an existing reader for anything new. If there are any contests, the existing reader has to compete with all other readers through gimmicks like more comments, posts, and other things which benefit only the blogger and one reader in the end, while all the other readers waste time and do not get anything in return.

The current reader does not get proper attention, does not get honest and real responses to e-mails, does not get good comment feedback, does not feel appreciation from the blogger and does not get anything more than a vague thank you note that a blogger addresses to all the readers, which many bloggers do in order to simply fulfill an obligation and show an illusion of appreciation. On top of that, the reader keeps spending time in trying to communicate with the blogger through rss subscription, comments, e-mails and posts linking to the blog in question, while the blogger in question does mainly only one thing: write things to lure in more readers.

Where is the appreciation in that?

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