Are You Concerned About Fake Friends?
30. Jul, 2008 
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If you run a blog or two, you may already know that some of the means to promote your blogs to the world are social media and commenting on other blogs in your niche. Both methods imply communication. Your avatar meets my avatar on the same page and we exchange words and thoughts.
What if my avatar has been “borrowed” from Flickr and designed to represent that other “me” I want to be in relationship with you? If you knew that your web 2.0 friends who helped you when you needed were just “somebody elses” hiding behind fake social media profiles, would this discovery lower your appreciation for them?
Is this situation similar to the one of the little boy who wanted to get his grandmother married, so he pretended to be her in some dating websites, and befriended some potential grandfathers in her name?
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This is one of the reasons I believe that many social sites will ultimately fail. It’s too easy to pretend to be someone you’re not.
I read a recent article (somewhere) where the author stated he had several online personas, both male and female. There’s no identity theft involved, just false identities.
In this example, you’re talking about a form of identity theft that isn’t easily discovered. Using the same name for the avatar, with a slightly different email address, can fool almost anyone who isn’t closely associated.
Well, the answer to your question is no, a “fake” avatar will not lower my appreciation. The web has a language of symbols and meanings – the choice of the avatar is rarely arbitrary. All avatars say something about the ones behind them. The art to decipher the whys will probably become a profiling science… I don’t believe in “fakes” – I do believe in masks. And we all wear masks sometimes.
In the case of the boy who impersonated his grandma you are actually talking about identity theft. This is a totally different story and I think it would be fit in a separate blog entry.
It happens that the commentators from the entry on my blog you linked at (and thank you for the link love) are not fakes. I know most of them since a long time, we’ve chatted via Skype or YM and naturally we saw each other, although never in person, but a web cam offers a clear enough perspective, don’t you think? So you see… linking to something I intended positive in an entry with potential negative implications is somehow misleading.
Thank you, RT and Mihaela for your comments.
I had not intention to make this sound negative, I just wanted to be neutral and see what people think about the social media profiles. The idea came to me after I read on several blogs posts about these fake profiles, or personas, or “masks” which we all wear every now and then. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter who you choose to be, it matters more what you do and how you behave in the relationships you establish.
The grandma story had a happy ending, because the little boy finally confessed he wished so much to have a grandpa, that he tried his best to help a little bit. But you are both right, this is identity theft and it is something completely different. Sorry if I misled anybody with this.
Oh, Simonne, don’t need to say “sorry” – it’s just that I didn’t want people to misunderstand the meaning of your entry. The actions count, as you said! Sometimes the readers are in a hurry and they oversee the real meaning of a question. Sometimes the negative prevails – this is somehow sad. There’s so much negativity in the world. I only wish we’d focus more on the positive.
There are other things that worry me: the offenses people choose to post in comments at digg, SU, etc. The “bury” campaigns, the “hate” brigades… the lack of respect some people show for others’ work. How do we overcome these? How do we “change the world?”
I hope friends are friends but not fake. If ever they are fake, why should we maintain the same to them. Try to change them. You do all thee things because they are your FRIENDS.
It happens that the commentators from the entry on my blog you linked at (and thank you for the link love) are not fakes. I know most of them since a long time, we’ve chatted via Skype or YM and naturally we saw each other, although never in person, but a web cam offers a clear enough perspective, don’t you think? So you see… linking to something I intended positive in an entry with potential negative implications is somehow misleading.
Fake friends are ones that fake friendship for their own benefits.
Not just about avatars.
Good post though. Thanks!
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I have had a lot of “friends” over the internet and only a few have stuck around for very long. I even ran a World of Warcraft guild for about 3 years and everyone just up and left one day. I think that you have to take everyone’s persona on the web with a grain of salt and don’t allow them to be your only friends.
Personally I am quite wary about giving away too much to these “faceless” people. You need to look into someones eyes to see the truth!
Thank you..Really good presentation.As i am working on the different avatars recently it gone wrong,but now I am confident to have one..Thanks for the info.
I’ve been online dating, and meeting new people all the time, like most, and Ive never really considered them friends. Just people to talk to. I never talk to anyone these days if they do not have some sort of picture file, showing several pictures of them. That way you have a feel for the person your speaking to.
This game of disguise goes on all over the internet. In rare occasion, somebody gets hurt.
Consider the case of the teenage girl who committed suicide because someone on MySpace was impersonating a boyfriend. The fake boyfriend told her the world would be better off without her. She terminated.
The court case was resolved this week and the perpetrator got off scott free for criminal charges. I think there is a civil suit pending.
Fake friend is more like online friends who you have never met and never seem a real race, not too concern about them, just dont get too close to them
Thanks for the tips. If you want to stay up with latest news and improvements those sites are necessity.
I never talk to anyone these days if they do not have some sort of picture file, showing several pictures of them. That way you have a feel for the person your speaking to.
No one have friends who are fake because we will mess up with the persons whom the ideas were similar to us…So it didn’t get a problem like this…
I believe we need to always be real- be ourselves and that’s the most important thing to do and to be. Unfortunately many people don’t have that kind of self confidence. They have to resort to lying and schemes. That’s too bad for them. It still is dishonest to use someone else’s picture on your face and pretend that you are them.
Good point to remember when interacting with people.
All the best,
Eren
This sounds good if it works fine. We should keep our avatar while blogging but it should not be mandatory. I may be need your services at some point in the future. Thanks for sharing.
I think everyone builds their Internet profile to be better than reality. Sometimes change is very little sometimes we exaggerate and build complete different profile. It’s so normal for me.
We don’t make up any fake friends and even we don’t like have even. Our friends are so very genuine that they believe in ourselves rather than themselves. We shouldn’t give up those.
You should really judge people by their actions not by their words. So what if he’s not exactly the person he said he was – he helped you and provided his support, you should appreciate that. Some people just don’t want to lose the anonimity so they’re saying they’re someone else.
I have seen some people use wrong identities on my blog comments. I find out this from ip address
To fake person you cannot call him the friend because friends do not be fake.
Some time invisible friends are better then the others but its possibility is very low.
This is a huge problem with online dating sites. People hide behind a disguise just to play games. Perhaps this fulfills some sort of fantasy for them. I tend to shy away from sites like MySpace for example as there are too many fake people.
Fake friend, that’s fine. I know them as they say even if what they say is fake, but it’s not really fake. On internet, it’s likely to be other world separate from real world. They say what they want to let you know. When the relation improved, they may show themselves.
Hi, There are lots of fake friends in our life if we are not aware about at the times of friends. We have to more conscious at the time of making friends so that we will not cheated by friends. So be aware about fake friends.
First of all they are not a friends because they don’t know about the meaning of friendship…..that why the are Fake persons who just want their benefits…its a very nice blog
All of the above posts are correct…Now a days we have numbers of fake friends..So, we need to understand that who is fake and real friends..
I don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s the action that really counts and people should be judged as such. Some people like to remain anonymous on the web so it does not necessarily mean they are fake friends. Sometimes you network with people online without knowing their real identity but if they are honest and helpful, I don’t see any problem with that.
I love the visual display of the never-ending improvement loop concept. It is a great plan to work towards total integration.
Sometimes instead of leaving a comment, think about leaving a review on stumbleupon. It can even take less time because you can just highlight an excerpt, but it is probably appreciated by the blog author more than something like Great post- which I generally delete and spam.
Without doubt social media as we know it today will change, it always takes a new shape and goes with the trend. Those who can’t keep their integrity online and harm the social movement will fail eventually because the demand for healthy online interactions will impose it. It would be like a natural selection. In my perspective, the websites with healthy optimization and socialization will always have a positive vote.