Readers Behaving Badly - Comments Meant to Hurt
If you’ve been blogging for a while, it’s not that hard to think back and remember the first time you received a negative comment. The commentator might have called you a name, told you your article sucked, or perhaps something worse.
Not all readers are out there to make friends. Some are out for blood. And if these readers haven’t found you yet, be assured that they will.
Within this post I will give two examples of readers behaving badly with regards to comments. At the end of this post you will find further reading on how to respond to comments meant to hurt.
Ick, You’re Leaving a Nasty Comment
Sabena Suri, a seventeen year old intern at CNET News.com, wrote an article about how she doesn’t like it when older married people try to add her on facebook. Her article, “Ick, old married guys on Facebook“, drew a lot of attention. I personally didn’t get offended while reading the article. Even I, at 26, feel rather icky adding a nineteen year old to my facebook page. But when I read the comments the post generated, I was sickened.
One of the comments had the title of, “Ick, a snotty teenager on Facebook and CNET.” Another had the title of, “Look! A Bunch of Prejudiced Brats on Facebook.” And yet another comment had a title of, “Are the CNet editors on vacation?” Keep in mind these are just the comment titles. The words within are even harsher.
I don’t consider myself a newbie in this blogging game anymore, but if I received comments like that, I’d be very discouraged from writing another article. This lady is just starting her senior year of high school, and I can only imagine her feelings as she read those comments. She probably thought she had a well written and thought out article (I personally was impressed with her writing). And then the negative comments rolled in by the truckload.
What’s ironic about a lot of comments is that most are offended at being called old, yet are making comments of their own chastising someone for being too young and inexperienced.
Marketing Your Site is Common Sense?
AJ from Devlounge wrote an article on how to market your website. The article was well done and was written from past experience. But then the comments rolled in.
One commenter said this:
This article sucks, try to say something that’s not totally obvious please.
And then another:
:yawn: All common sense. zzzzz…
Did the above comments add to, or provide constructive criticism for the article in question? Not really. These comments were meant to hurt.
And Many, Many More Examples
Lorelle put it rather nicely when referring to mean-spirited comments:
Trolls. Flamers. Meanies. Vicious. Not Nice. Unkind. Rude. Inconsiderate. Nasty. Whining. Bitching. Moaning. Bastards.
Conclusion
Not all readers are out to make friends. Some react with emotion to the article you just wrote. Some are quick to go for the kill. If you’ve been a victim of readers behaving badly with regards to comments, please share your experience.
I suggest reading the following articles on how to deal with comments that are intended to hurt:
Simonne says...
I have two kinds of commenters on my blog: spammers and nice people. However, I once experienced the effect of nasty comments, when one of my posts got farked: it was really unbelievable how mean some people can be.
Jeffro2pt0 says...
I’ve been blogging for four months now and have yet to receive any of the comments that are meant to hurt. As you say though, they are out there and they will eventually find me. I’ve already tried to mentally prepare myself for the day when these comments arrive on my blog. Just have to remember that this is the internet and people still think they can say whatever they want without any repercussions.
Ronald Huereca says...
Simonne,
I’m very curious to know what farked is.
Jeff,
Good luck man. It took me about roughly five months before my first really negative comment. I would say you get used to it after a while, but not really. However, you do learn to pick out the ones against your argument versus that ones that are against you in general.
Simonne says...
Ronald, there is a social networking site called fark.com, which is a bit different from the others: humor plays an important role in getting your story on the front page. The selection of the front page sites is not done by users as in other cases, but by the site moderators (as far as I remember, there are only three guys handling all that stuff).
Slevi says...
Man, this entry sucks!
It was just asking for a response like that XD, anyways, myself I love working with comment moderation for a reason. Enabling me to easy filter trashy comments like that out, now if they write it constructive I wouldn’t care less but that usually isn’t the case. Heck if most people don’t agree to something they probably won’t even reach the commenting section because they stop reading and just think “forget it”.
I must say though that in the past year I’ve had probably not more than 10 totally negative comments, not too much positive comments either but still.
If you compare that to your average forum, god the flaming which goes on there at some. Writing a single post can result in like 50 flames within an hour directed at you :P, coming from a scene like that before blogging I also don’t really care about negative comments too much anymore. It simply doesn’t touch me anymore.
Jeffro2pt0 says...
I just wanted to say that last night, I received my first negative comment. They told me to get off the pot LOL. He did write his comment in a sort of constructive way so I left it be. I gave him a good response back. I wonder if the bad commenter will come back!
Bes says...
Ronald, thanks for the nice article. I have been getting such comments on my blog since it started. Some people are plain outright rude in order to offend someone simply because they can, and some people simply do not know how to communicate. So far, I have allowed all such comments and never deleted them. I have only been deleting comments which are spam in my view. It does create more work, but I hope that communicating more can help address hostile feelings a bit.
One thing we have to make sure is to see whether or not we are categorizing disagreeing readers, even aggressive or very strong disagreeing readers, as being rude.
Simonne, I have read Fark.com in the past, and I have found dozens, if not hundreds, of links and interesting things via it. Did your post or something get farked?
Jeffro2pto, well, now that you got your first negative comment, instead of feeling bad you must have felt so that you can come and share it wish us, no?
Some commentors do indeed have a point but they think the best way to get it across is to be aggressive or rude in some sort.
Slevi, heh!
An average forum can indeed result in a lot of disagreements. I think an average forum can be a good way to learn how to deal with disagreeing people online.
So, if I understand you correctly, because of average forum replies, you are a bit insensitive to negative comments on blog and don’t let it bother you?
Ronald Huereca says...
Slevi,
You had me for a second there. I was already plotting your demise. *phew* I can imagine after modding a forum for a while, you’d grow rather insensitive to trash comments. I can’t relate totally, but I did grow fairly insensitive to swear words after watching Reservoir Dogs two times in a row.
Jeff,
I’m sorry man. Just blindfold me, give me a bat, and tell me in which direction to swing and I’ll help out.
Bes,
I suppose any comment that is a personal attack of some sort is a comment meant to hurt. If I say that you are wrong, that’s one thing. If I say, “You’re wrong, dorkface!” Well, that’s a totally different issue.
Andrew says...
I see several problems really, but the biggest is an inability to communicate effectively, or an unwillingness to spend the time to do it.
I find when my initial thoughts on something are extremely negative, when I start to explain myself I find that I can’t justify the force of what I feel. I usually stop writing at this point and start again.
Most of the comments, on that article in particular, seem to be one liners, without much thought or consideration to the facts, spat out in the heat of the moment.
Most of the comments seem to be, “We are young people and we own this space so go away.” which is not a rational position once you stop to consider it properly; for example, I am told that in the UK, for whom Facebook was never a college only thing, 54% of users are over 25, and the over-35s are the fastest growing age group.
I am not really convinced that most people who leave these sorts of comments really mean to hurt. I think that they are just ill-equiped to explain their point of view and so lash out in an attempt to add weight to it.